Now come on, you all knew this was coming
You knew it was coming. Well, that is, if you’ve been reading the contents in this space with any consistency over the past… oh, man, I’ve been blessed to be writing this little blurb for quite a while. How long? I’m pretty old and all. … Uh, lemme think. Let’s see now, Kyle was pretty small when I first pitched this column.
Hmm, I don’t know, let’s call it at least a decade and a half?
Anyone who frequents this general area of the inside cover of this section with any regularity knows that every year, like clockwork, my pre-Christmas column is an homage to Clement Moore’s “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” commonly referred to as “‘Twas the Night before Christmas.”
It’s shameless thievery, to be certain. But at this point, it really has become something of a PK tradition. There you have it. So without further ado, I give you my take on the classic poem, the 2020 edition:
‘Twas the weekend before Christmas when all through the world
Daily life became kooky for all boys and girls.
And ladies and gentlemen, young, old and between.
It was a little like something from out of a dream.
And not the nice, fun kind with snowflakes and sleds
Or visions of sugar plumbs boogeying in heads.
No, this was the type that just went on and on
Like a scratched-up CD of your least favorite song.
The notes were askew and the melody flat
And no one could wake from this long dreadful nap.
The days and the nights were a quarantined blur
And it seemed restful wake might not ever occur.
Throughout the third rock, every plan was derailed.
No gatherings, no contact, and faces were veiled.
The humans were sad to be stuck in their homes
And longed for the days they could go out and roam.
Then suddenly, what to their eyes should appear?
But a chance to let go of frustration and fear!
When they realized confinement could actually mean
Some precious new memories with their fave human beings.
Amid all the sorrow and deep isolation
The earthlings began to enjoy a vacation
From long, hard commutes and extended work days.
Soon puzzles or movie nights were the typical rage.
Reconnecting with family, a blessing well hid,
Was keeping so many from flipping their lids.
So baking and cooking and binge-watching shows
Became the new normal through sun, rain and snow.
Soon, many discovered this curse held some joys
Like rare 1:1 time for a mom and her boy.
Then another thing happened though the world was still listless
It occurred to us all: NOTHING cancels out Christmas.
And though the festivities look quite different this year
The joy of the season remains patently clear:
A long time ago in a cold little shed
A newborn boy baby laid down his sweet head.
With Mommy and Daddy and shepherds on hand
A message of brightness enveloped the land.
A big host of angels proclaimed from above
That this infant was born to give everyone love.
To save us from evil and wipe away sin
And give us a chance to start over again.
So just like the angels were happy to tell:
A savior named Christ is our Emmanuel.
That means “God is with us” — He’s always right here!
So don’t be afraid, we’ve got nothing to fear.
Merry Christmas to all from my family to yours
I pray that you’re safe and are healthy, for sure.
And though this odd year may mean slightly less fun
At least hope’s around the corner in 2021!