This moody dork has some unpopular confessions
Things are hard for everyone right now. I mean, every day is basically just a juggling act to deal with the disaster du jour.
Let’s face it, the world is pretty much in shambles. I mean, between the cataclysmic climate, the persistent pandemic and the economic upheaval, there’s just a general disturbance in the force out there.
Closer to home, the Republicans all seem to have COVID. The Democrats are saddled by … Biden. Both parties suffer from diarrhea of the mouth. It’s enough to make a human’s head hurt.
At the time of this writing, I’m personally grappling with the loss of Eddie Van Halen.
Look, I’m a child of the ’80s, dude. He and Valerie Bertinelli were like our Kim and Kanye. OK, that might not be the best comparison, but you get the gist.
She was America’s sweetheart; he was rock’s reigning guitar guru. It was the stuff of celebrity fairy tale. Well, for a while, anyway. #RIPEddieVanHalen
Yet, every time I think 2020 has 2020’d us to the max, it kicks it up a notch.
Never in my life have I wanted one year to end more emphatically than I do this one.
So while we’re wallowing in the misery that IS 2020, I figure, why not just get some longstanding confessions off my chest? I mean, what better time to purge, right?
1. Everybody does NOT love Raymond.
No offense, but, while I love, love, loved that show, Ray Romano was, by far, its weakest link. He should get down on his hands and knees every day of his life that he had the supporting cast of dreams because his humor, in and of itself, and what I can only imagine was pretty much him portraying a version of himself very similar to the IRL one? Blech.
He was whiny and annoying and childish and pretty much a big baby. They should’ve called the show “We Love Everybody BUT Raymond.”
There, I said it.
2. “This Is Us” stinks.
Again, I know I’m going to take some heat on this one, but I can’t stand the TV show “This Is Us.” Why? Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because the Pearsons are the single most depressing family unit in the history of fake families?
How many bad things can happen to one bloodline, anyway? I mean, they really need to look into who originally put the evil eye on their ancestors and beg their respective descendants to remove it, capisce?
This is one dismal, discouraging, and dispiriting story. If I want that kind of joyless narrative, I’ll just put the news on. Sheesh!
3. The Three Stooges were overrated.
I actually took a hard gulp before offering up this revelation because I know I’m messing with icons here.
Look, I’m sorry, and I know I have to put it in the context of the era but COME ON? Larry, Curly and Moe could have taped one show and just run it 18 zillion times because EVERY EPISODE IS THE SAME NONSENSICAL SLAPSTICK STUPIDITY.
Ahem, not that I’m sure they didn’t offer much-needed levity back in their day?
4. Tortilla chips don’t need to come in 482 different flavors.
5. “The Walking Dead” is on life support.
Please unplug it, AMC.
I know, I’m just being a moody dork. I’m sorry. Well, mostly Raymond and the Stooges really grate on my last nerve, yo.
Anyway, here’s hoping 2021 ushers in health, happiness and heaps of peace, y’all!