How about we just treat everyone well, m’kay?

My Sentiments Exactly

You can tell a lot about a man by _________________ .

That blank has been filled by many a famous human.

German Jewish philosopher and essayist Walter Benjamin said: “You can tell a lot about a man by the books he keeps — his taste, his interest, his habits.”

Well that’s logical.

Obviously, you aren’t likely to house a library full of murder mysteries if you’re terribly squeamish and not, at least a little bit, suspiciously minded. And no one’s hanging onto scads of sci-fi novels if they’re all about mushy love stories.

I suppose Benjamin’s theory makes good sense.

“Letters from North America” columnist Peary Perry — oh, and no jokes about the U.S.-based satirist’s name, please; by now, he’s heard ’em all and likely even wrote a few — said: “You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his dog.”

True. Let your dog sit on your lap? The furniture? The bed? Feed her the best dog food known to canine-hood? Take her to the vet for well-baby visits? You and I are compadres, you dig?

Mistreat your pup in any way shape or form and I. WILL. CUT. YOU. I’m not kidding, yo.

British Harry Potter mogul J.K. Rowling said: “If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

Truth. Nothing uglier on a human than the penchant for equating socio-economic status, job title, net worth or otherwise coveted positions with a person’s right to be treated well. Oh, hex no.

I detest an earth dweller who opens the door for the CEO but lets it slam in the face of the cleaning staff members. Or some schmuck who falls all over himself to laud the chef of a five-star restaurant but treats the waiter like yesterday’s stale baguettes. NOT COOL.

People are people; everyone matters EQUALLY. If you only befriend those of a certain circle, you and your brown nose can get in line with the Fido hurters. I don’t want to know you.

For my money, Maya Angelou, American poet, singer, civil rights activist, devout Christian and novelist said it best: “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

First of all, Maya is the first one addressing the fact that these rules apply to both the male and female species. Good on ya, Maya. #GirlPower

Clearly, we are talking about men AND women in this — and all — discussion(s), thank you very much.

Secondly, she’s right. A human’s ability to remain happy amid storms or calm when she goes to Miami and her clothes head to Tacoma or chill when the strand is strangling his fingers — well that’s where the rubber meets the road, am I right?

Speaking of the road, I’m just relieved that none of these equations is based on one’s potty mouth in busy traffic. Hard, hard gulp. Guilty. I swear I’m fab in all the other categories, promise!

Understanding that people, all people, are what matters in this all-too-short life — and that every day is a gift to be opened, shared and enjoyed — well, that, my friends, indicates the real measure of a man … or a gal.

That and a willingness to spoil their dogs, capisce?

Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who prays to the Lord above that no one (especially him) will judge her too harshly on her actions behind the wheel. Check her out when she’s on her best communicative behavior at www.patricia kimerer.com

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