Change bad. Just ask Cruella Cave Wife

The humans really hate change. They just do. They fight it like a toddler with his naptime or a teenager with her curfew or Floyd Mayweather with um, pretty much anything.

It’s an unfortunate truth that we just don’t handle conversions, adjustments, and / or transformations well, as a rule.

I believe this can be particularly true of mothers as it relates to giving their children much-deserved independence. We’ll get back to that.

Look, I honestly feel it’s in our earthly impulse makeup to buck change. I guess it’s been this way since the onset of time. I’m sure even the earliest caveman, with his limited intellectual capacity, was sharp enough to be uneasy with change.

And just in case he wasn’t, I’m fairly confident that his early woman counterpart likely nagged him, B.C. style. I can just see it now, the first poor guy to make a little fire. Dude probably caught serious hex with the little missus. I bet it went a little something like this:

SHE: “What on flat ground is THAT?”

HE: “Me no sure yet. Think me maybe call it ‘fire.'”

SHE: “You a thick head, for sure! Why you do this?”

HE: “Me no know. Seem like keep us warm and give us light when bad black comes and hides sun sun?”

SHE: “You making HUGE mistake! What if little Oonga Number Two get hurt?”

HE: “Maybe we keep it high up so he no touch?”

SHE: “How we do? NO! Bad call, Oonga Number One. Me no allow.”

HE: “But maybe FIRE bring more good, less bad?”

SHE: “What you know? You walk hunched over plus you still no fix chip in boulder for 85,127 sun sun hides! So what if we freezing most of time and raw buffalo meat disorder kill half family and we blind when sun sun go away. At least we know. We don’t KNOW what fire do! Besides, I hate word ‘fire.’ You pick dumb name!”

HE: Yes, dear.

Poor Oonga Number One. Bet he blew out his torch right then only for some flashy Homo Erectus to get his glory somewhere down the dirt path.


Flash forward to the present when we still hang onto to old ways like Lester Hayes gripped NFL game balls before Stickum was banned in 1981, you dig? Shoot, sometimes, much like that mean old Cruella Cave Wife chick, we rebuff a revolutionary idea even when, deep down inside, we know they’re what’s best.

Like, letting your kids go off on their own to learn, grow and become.

Sure, we all SAY we want our kids to flourish and blossom and achieve and succeed … and then we sideswipe them by trying to hang on too tightly as soon as they show signs of self-sufficiency. I fear more moms than dads are guilty of this tactic. OK fine, I know we are.


Look, other than faith in The Almighty and the unconditional love of family and close friends, pretty much the only thing in life we can count on with any consistency is, of course, inconsistency.

But if history has taught us nothing else, we ought to realize that advancements disrupting the status quo can sometimes mean making life on the third rock exponentially better than it was a century, a decade, or even a year ago.

Don’t listen to Cruella Cave Wife. Oftentimes, change good.

Kimerer is a Tribune Columnist who thinks reversing time is the only good transformation for her. Change her mind at www.patriciakimerer.com.


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