Sticking together through all — even ‘Live: PD’
After the first two decades or so of living with another human, you tend learn a few things; even if only through osmosis.
And, 23 years ago today, I started living with this really cute, really sweet, really fun guy. It was after we got hitched on a perfectly sunny-and-75 late summer morning, just to be clear.
We liked it so much, we did it again six years later. #TwoDifferentChurches #WeAreStuckWithEachOtherForSure
Anyway, I’ve picked up on some stuff in the past two-plus decades of cohabitating with a boy (well, two of them, after the fifth year). I think old-timer marrieds will agree with many of these observations. For the newbies, perhaps they’ll be handy map to keep in the glove compartment for the ride.
1. Morning people CAN live with non-morning people peaceably. Um, just not too soon after sun-up, you dig?
It took me a solid four years or so to get that one down. In fact, when we used to commute to work together and I prattled on for half-hour straight each weekday while he silently drove, I remember thinking, “Man, I married an awesome listener!”
Little did I know he was racking his brain for ideas on how to wire my jaw shut during my sleep.
Now I wait for an hour after he awakes; sort of like swimming after eating.
2. Fighting is OK. That’s what I said.
Within reason, occasional spirited debate — OK, fine, arguing — is not only acceptable, but can also even be useful if it exposes and expunges hidden toxins.
Just don’t do any bare-knuckle MMA cage fighting, capisce?
3. Spending time apart is good.
Just because you’re joined in matrimony doesn’t mean you have to be at the hip. It’s not only fine to keep doing things with your friends, it’s really unhealthy for everyone involved to stop. I mean, getting married doesn’t mean divorcing your other family members and your BFFs.
4. Spending time NOT apart is better.
Rule No. 3 is cool but don’t go all crazy, ya hear? You are still MARRIED.
That means you are partners, sweetie pies and buds. Do more things together than not. Also, I recommend the tenet of always sleeping under the same roof — making exceptions jointly and sparingly, you dig?
Never neglect your spouse — unless it’s for that other human y’all made together, but that’s really a column for another day.
5. Friends first. And second and 23rd and 48th and everywhere in between because through all the kooky, crazy, wonderful, horrendous, fabulous, terrific and terrible moments that happen over the course of a marriage, you must always have each other’s backs. Fronts, too, just sayin’.
6. Pray together, stay together.
Cliche? Yes. Spot on? You betcha. ‘Nuff said.
7. Be nice. Everyday isn’t going to be like Prince Harry and movie star Meghan’s nuptials, OK? Well, all right, none of them are likely to be like that.
But there will be more joy than sorrow, more laughs than tears, and more hugs than hurts if you just treat one another with respect, kindness and compassion.
Oh, and try to ignore his eardrum shattering snoring so that he doesn’t put you out with the recycling for how often you crack your gum, and everything should be OK.
Happy anniversary, Kerry! I’m still glad we got hitched (both times). Love you and you’re just as cute and sweet and fun as ever.
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who loves her hubby through thick and thin and sick and sin … and even repeated “Live: PD” viewings. Blech! Visit www.patriciakimerer.com.