I'm tech-savvy, I swear. Just because my computer has seen three presidential elections doesn't mean I wouldn't know how to use a new one.
And I got the seventh-generation iPod classic with no touch screen because it has 160 gigs of storage, and when you're driving or kayaking or walking you're not looking at the screen, anyway.
I never got the chance to miss my cassette tapes, since my car still has a tape player and is filled with them - just in time for them to pop back up on merch tables at shows for up-and-coming bands. I saw a story about cassette mixtape cover art and I knew - KNEW - that I hadn't saved tapes in vain.
I missed the boat on Snapchat (a blessing in disguise given the recent hack), and I definitely could use a refresher on Photoshop, but I try to keep ahead of my parents on most techie things. My mom has an iPad, so there's a curve since I'm still tethered to a decidedly less flat desktop.
But, in 2014, I vow to make the most of all things wired and wireless, and created a tech to-do list. I am setting an iPhone alert for six months from now to annoy me as I surely will abandon half of these.
Search and destroy. Return to barren web wastelands, retrieve precious mementos from LiveJournal, MySpace and abandoned Wordpresses, secure them, then napalm whatever is left. The less Googleable evidence of your twenties, the better.
Update iPhone. Since I have hardly any apps, my large camera roll hogs the necessary space to update to the latest iOS. I like the cool new graphics but fear losing everything during the sync. I shall back up and pray.
Windows washing. Since Windows XP is now going to the land of wind and ghosts, I have to update my Dell (I know, I know) to whichever operating system can run on a 2005 desktop. My Word is currently read-only, and other functions are dying fast. My machine needs an OS operation, and soon. Luckily, I have been backing up the HD like crazy.
Once my machine is healed, organize, clean and compress. Trash all those old Winamp files.
Catch up on podcasts. Having never owned a laptop (that either makes me annoyingly cool, or sad), I know little of on-the-go fun like podcasts, downloaded movies and webcam chatting. I used to download NPR shows, stuff from The Onion, and friends' weekly podcasts, but my linkup to iTunes became less frequent and episodes built up to an unlistenable bulk. I vow to find some good podcasts and webisodes, subscribe, and watch on my phone or whathaveyou. Suggestions are welcome.
Use Instagram and Twitter more. And in tandem with one another. Make the most of the features. My tweets are few and far between, and Facebook hogs my photo posts. There's plenty for everybody, apps.
Make some Vines. Surely even I can be funny for six seconds.
Finish this Shutterfly photo album thing I was working on.
Learn more HTML stuff. Always useful.
Start this literature geek blog idea I had.
Hook up the good computer speakers I got from my brother.
In lieu of decent streaming speed, utilize USB and remote HD to watch movies and stuff on TV until I get a Roku or something.
Keep my seeder / leecher ratios even. It's only fair.
Anything else will have to wait until I finally win an iPad from one of those Taco Bell customer survey thingies.
What's on your tech to-do list for 2014? Share some podcast ideas with me at firstname.lastname@example.org.