Once in awhile, the advantages of technology and advancement of human achievement in this day and age we live in are on brilliant display for all to gaze at in wonder.
I?did just this last night, as I?drove past a lawn containing a giant inflatable Headless Horseman holding three glowing skulls on a giant horse with red glowing eyes. Radical.
Imagine, a hundred years ago, when yards only contained wells, or clotheslines, or human heads on pikes. Now, they can have awesome giant inflatable holiday decorations that can instill fear and wonder in passers by.
I?can see how some neighbors can scoff, throw a side-eye or even get snooty about giant inflatable things. But I?can see even easier how it would make you want an even bigger, more inflate-y thing.
I know not the competitive yard spirit, having only a rented yard. But when I?get my own yard, I?am totally going to town.
Halloween is one of the prime times of year to go nuts on your yard. There's so much fun and scary imagery to play with, be it tame or gory. From the Peanuts to bloody two-headed mutant rats, there's something for everybody.
Christmas is normally the big one, but not the best example since everything is covered in snow and no one wants to stand outside to look at it. And if you're driving in snow, you can't take your eyes off the road to view the inflatable Santa Snoopy for fear of causing a hideous flaming wreck.
As kids, we did the traditional stuff-some-old-clothes-with-newspapers-dead-guy on the porch, which we gave a paper bag head and magic-markered him a bunch of bloody scars and scary face. You can also hang this dude from a tree, if you're so compelled, or cover his top half with leaves or a big rock to imply he was met with some cruel fate. A?few old pillowcase ghosts in the tree weren't hard to do, and mixed parents' love for occupying kids' time and getting rid of old crap.
Adults have more options for Halloween decor. The giant inflatables are somewhat new, but all the bats, spiders, Draculas and Grim Reapers on motorcycles popping wheelies give validity to this new form of yard art.
That fake spiderweb stuff??You really have to expertly spread it around your porch, bushes and trees, or else it just looks like clump. Don't get lazy, stretch it convincingly, and your house will look like the Crypt Keeper's.
Pumpkins??Carve or paint 'em, simply or expertly, because they're always a cheery sight until some kids chuck them down the street.
Motion sensor stuff is always good. My mom had this glowing hanging ghost that made scary noises at passers by and made the mailman do double takes all?October long. That dude probably hated us.
Lights - and lots of them, especially little glowing eyes in the bushes. Those delightfully campy fake tombstones. The classic witch-crashed-broom-into-side-of-house decoration. Fake arms or snakes sticking out of the mailbox.
There's so many places to hide scary stuff - no wonder Spencer's Gifts stays in business. The old-man-in-a-Speedo greeting card market can't be that great.
Whatever your level of Halloween yard decor is, remember that it's your last chance to showcase your house - and your holiday spirit?- before it's too cold for anyone to care.