If you've got a thing to do, the calendar has a day to do it on, providing you're perusing the correct calendar. It's why you may have showed up a bit underdressed on Friday, national Work Naked Day.
February also features such gems as Toothache Day, Do a Grouch a Favor Day and Plum Pudding Day.
And, of course, there's Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day, which commemorates the Feb. 18, 1930, flight of a Guernsey named Elm Farm Ollie, aka "Nellie Jay," in a Ford Trimotor airplane during the International Air Exposition in St. Louis. Nellie Jay was both the first cow in flight and first cow milked in flight. Hey, why not?
For a short month, February packs a decent punch.
The whole thing is Black History Month, to reflect on the stories and contributions of African-Americans.
Today is Super Bowl Sunday, to consider television commercials over pizza and nachos. Also, there's some sort of game.
There's Presidents Day, which commemorates closing offices once instead of 40-some times a year and counting for each American president's birthday.
February also features the Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday and Purim. Plus there's that day marked by a kid in diapers flapping about with a bow and arrow, and another that makes a fuss over groundhogs and shadows. That should be enough excitement for anybody.
Periodically, I flip through the pages of the other calendars marking some of the more, uh, unusual celebrations. Fortunately, I looked closely enough to see that Working Naked Day is to be celebrated ONLY by people who work from home. Phew!
Coming up Thursday is Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day. Don't be stingy and use just one.
This Friday is Extraterrestrial Culture Day in New Mexico, "to celebrate and honor all past, present and future extraterrestrial visitors in ways to enhance relationships among all citizens of the cosmos, known and unknown," according to memorial passed by the state legislature.
Here's a sampling of what else you can hoot and holler over this month:
Friday: Fly a Kite Day, and Laugh and Grow Rich Day.
Saturday: Read in the Bathtub Day, and Toothache Day.
Feb. 11: Don't Cry over Spilt Milk Day.
Feb. 12: Plum Pudding Day.
Feb. 13: Get a Different Name Day.
Feb. 14: Ferris Wheel Day.
Feb. 15: National Gum Drop Day, and National Hippo Day.
Feb. 16: Do a Grouch a Favor Day.
Feb. 18: Thumb Appreciation Day. Text that one to a friend. It's also National Battery Day.
Feb. 19: National Chocolate Mint Day.
Feb. 20: Hoodie Hoo Day. (You go outside at noon, wave your hands over your head and chant, "Hoodie Hoo." Why? Because it's Feb. 20.
Feb. 23: International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day, and Curling is Cool Day.
Feb. 27: Polar Bear Day (if the polar bear sees a seal's shadow --)
Feb. 28: National Tooth Fairy Day, and Public Sleeping Day.
Ah, just celebrate every day. There's always a reason, even if you have to make your own by booking a flight for you, your cow and a milk bucket.
----- Spend more crazy days on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook, or write Cole at firstname.lastname@example.org