I don't know if it's all the "Debate" debate or just the seasonal sinus pressure fogging my noggin this week, but it's been a rough one.
What I mean to say is, in the seven days since my last offering, I have had the most strange, silly stuff transpire in Patty Land. And it has me wondering how come:
The very second you round the corner to re-feed the parking meter, you will do so just in time to see yourself receiving a citation for an expiration? Thanks, YSU Parking Services. I've got to hand it to you, you certainly are on top of things. Hmpf.
The same hair color that comes off when you sneeze too hard will absolutely not rinse clean out of the sink basin even after you've tried scrubbing it with bleach, attacking it with a blow torch and even sandblasting the porcelain? By the time I finished "cleaning" I had 50 more shades of gray Sigh.
The one time you need theme-colored paper plates and napkins for the management team meeting the next morning is the only night you will find only white ones at the three different stores you try.
Oh, and why is it that the only time you want to watch two TV programs all year, they will be on at the the exact same night and time?
Speaking of simultaneous situations, how is it possible that the only time the band you loved in your youth is reuniting locally for a single last engagement on the very night of your child's favorite annual school function? Curse you, Spartan Bowl.
Then again, that's not half as bad as discovering that the one day you forgot to move the fireplace starter log off the garage floor is the same one on which your dog decides to eat it. She will proceed to vomit 47 times all over the house and scare the ever-living stuffing out of you that something's dreadfully wrong with her. She will eventually reassure you that she's fine by eating your left sock.
Anyway, why is it that the week you really, truly, deeply need your favorite office supplier to deliver an emergency shipment to your department will be the occasion on which his two-week overdue wife finally goes into labor. Heck, I could have helped us both a long time ago if I knew my stress would get things moving along for her and the bambino?
Ah, yes, that, naturally will be the same day that you come home to find that the super-awesome, "I remembered to pack all his favorites in it" lunch of your son's is still sitting on the kitchen counter where he forgot it in the morning. He will, by the way, have a surprise quiz during which he'll be distracted by his growling stomach because this was also the same day his school lunch account was 50 cents short. I'll take that Mother of the Year trophy right about now, thanks.
The only day your boss is looking for you at "closing time" is the one day you have to leave 5 minutes early to get your child to swim on time. You will have worked 62 hours in that same week. Drat.
Lastly, it will stand to reason that on the one day you finally succumb to that pesky sinus infection, it will be the same day you find the empty medicine box in the cupboard.
Ah, well. If this is the worst of it, my friends, life's still pretty darned awesome. Happy new week, all!