Yeah, it's just like that. That's why I told the guy that from now on, I'll just play stupid.
''Not much of a stretch there,'' he mumbled.
Hey, how would you feel about being dropped into the middle of a conversation without any clue how you got there?
It happens a lot lately.
I was lounging in my easy chair, deep into a very important panel of a Calvin and Hobbes book, when my wife walked in and said, ''So which day do you think we should go?''
I didn't let her see the panic in my eyes. I did this by not lowering the book while my mind raced through the possibilities.
I promised her a shopping trip? That's silly. I wouldn't do that.
My tests came back and I need to check myself into a hospital to have a major organ removed? I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered that.
We've won an all expense-paid cruise to Boise? I don't think any ships sail to Boise.
She's changed her hair? She's changing MY hair? Say, did I remember to comb my hair today?
I lowered the book and took a shot. ''Am I having a major organ surgically removed?''
''What? Do you know how frustrating it is when you just drop me into the middle of a conversation?''
Time for some quick thinking. ''Um, Tuesday?''
Terry arched her eyebrows. ''Tuesday? That's the day she said she wouldn't be there. I told you that.''
Slowly the light glimmered at the far end of the train of thought tunnel. As I recalled, a lady gave us a desk. We needed to pick it up. Terry told me that ... yesterday. Morning.
Once again, the train of thought had derailed at the station, letting about 100 other trains arrive before this one chugged back onto track.
''You know,'' I said, ''when this happened to George and Betty, they...''
''Who's George and Betty?''
''You know, George. From that place. Where they do that thing. I told you last week. Anyway, he and Betty...''
''Betty's his wife?''
''His daughter. So, George and Betty went through this ...''
Terry shook her head. ''What are you talking about?''
''Your hair looks nice today,'' I said and picked up the Calvin and Hobbes book.
I feel like the curtain went up on the play of life but my script begins with Act 3. And the first two pages are missing.
We arrived at a social gathering and a buddy bounded up just as I opened the door. ''As soon as Thomas calls back, I'll let you know. Are you in? It's all coming together just like Fred said it would.''
''What are you talking about? And who's Fred?''
''Oh. I thought you knew. We've all been talking about it.''
I closed the door. ''I just walked into the building. By the way, I asked Tim and he says definitely the green knob.''
He stared at me.
''The green one!'' I yelled.
My buddy shook his head. ''What knobs. And what about Fred's plan?''
''From now on, I'll just play stupid,'' I told the guy.
''Not much of stretch there,'' he mumbled and backed away.
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