OK, so as I write this I'm mad at Kerry. Really irked. Seriously. And that's kind of the point.
No, not that I'm irritated about the recurring "Do you really need to use the credit card, Patty?" chant steadily streaming from my husband's lips.
Oh, incidentally, the answer is, "Well, I was going to stuff some cash in the beak of a carrier pigeon but, no, no, just to be safe, I'd better not."
No, it's the fact that, despite the many "hmpfs" we cause one another, I want to dedicate today's column to my honey - because exactly 46 years ago today in Franklin County, he came into the world.
So, I thought the least I could do for the father of my child, the man who's been my spouse for the past 16 1/2 years, and the person who has been drying my tears and bringing home my extra-large Dunkin' Donuts coffee since 1994 was give him a little shout out on his birthday.
Others had similar ideas, including my in-laws.
My father-in-law Donald reminded me that my mother-in-law often remarks how, if Kerry was their first-born, he may have been an only child.
"Not to mention all the times he'd try to get his mom, a teacher at his elementary school, to get him out of jams. She sent him straight to the office every time," he laughed.
My sister-in-law Kim joined in on the good-natured ribbing.
"As the youngest of us, he always has been and remains the subject of many a family joke, especially the inference that we found him along the roadside as a baby."
She quickly set the record straight. "Actually, he is a brother I feel so blessed to have. He got me through some of my toughest times and I send much love from his favorite sister," she said.
She is, of course, his only sister.
Nevertheless, Dad K. reiterated the feeling. "We're so very, very proud of him. He's such a wonderful son."
My own folks think Kerry's pretty OK, too, I suppose.
"Kerry is caring and dependable - a loving and devoted husband and father who has made our daughter very happy. He is always there when his family needs him. We are proud to call him 'son,'" said me mum.
BTW, she and Dad hardly ever grant my request for quotes. Half hmpf to that.
My sis Gina said Kerry's her favorite brother-in-law on our side of the family, which is only funny because he's her only one on our side.
Like the others, she quickly turned serious.
"Honestly, though, he's such a great husband. His commitment to my sister and nephew and his incredible faith is something to be admired."
My oldest childhood friend Michelle Coppola of Lowellville said to me, "Kerry is so sweet and funny - and he showed you what true love is and made you the happiest I've ever seen you, and I'll always be grateful to him for that," she gushed before threatening his life if ever he hurts me.
That's my girl.
Speaking of my girls, another, my buddy Chris Ruggieri of Warren, recalled her first glimpse of my husband via a photo I showed her when we worked together.
"We ladies all remarked about his movie-star looks now time is proving both of our husbands get cuter with each passing year," said my sweetie gal pal.
She added that our good-lookin' boys have grown into even better men over time.
Then there's Kerry's close pal and former co-worker Greg Thomas of Connecticut who said that, in addition to being a terrific friend, Kerry has mad talent.
"He is a world-class editor, videographer and motion graphics guru. You can take a bad idea to Kerry, and he will make it look good. You can take a great idea to Kerry, and he will make it better," he said, among other kind things.
All accurate, according to his objective wife.
Best endorsement of all? From our 12-year-old son, Kyle.
"What I'd like to say about him is that if I could give him the 'Dad of the Year' award I would. Every year."
Happy Birthday, Ker Bear. I love you!
But I'm still using the credit card.
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist. Contact her with adoring comments about Kerry at email@example.com.