The Ohio State Buckeyes took their talents to South Beach and discovered -much to their surprise - that they have none.
Hyperbole, of course, but that was one awful offensive performance on Saturday night.
Everyone knows Ohio State is shorthanded because of the suspensions of several key players. A Miami victory is not a surprise. But the ineptitude Ohio State displayed? That is surprising and disturbing.
Speaking of polls, the Buckeyes might not have a spot in the Top 25 before the weekend is complete.
Looking for something positive? Drew Basil came into the game 0 for 4 in his career and 0 for 2 this season on field-goal attempts. At least the Buckeyes know he can split the uprights now and then.
There are probably children walking around today who were conceived in less time than it takes Ohio State quarterback Joe Bauserman to release the football. Bob Feller didn't wind up that much.
Do you think Buckeyes coach Luke Fickell might regret not playing freshman backup Braxton Miller against Toledo? Not saying Ohio State would have beaten Miami, but a few more snaps last week could not have hurt Miller.
Bauserman and Miller combined to go 4 for 18 for 35 yards. That is not a typo. That might be the worst performance any Buckeyes quarterbacks have ever produced in a game. Miller fumbled three times and threw an interception.
Here is what is scary: Maryland quarterback Danny O'Brien was 31 of 44 for 348 yards in the Terrapins' 32-24 victory over the Hurricanes on Sept. 5. Bauserman and Miller could have stayed on the field with their receivers at Sun Life Stadium until the the sun came up today and not reached 348 yards.
Where were Ohio State's receivers? Did any of them make the trip? The Buckeyes' four - count 'em, four - pass completions all went to running backs. One each for Carlos Hyde, Rod Smith, Jordan Hall and Jaamal Berry. Wait ... that's another positive. Bauserman and Miller spread the ball around.
Most people today are wondering how bad the Buckeyes might be. My question? How bad are the Akron Zips? Ohio State buried that team without breaking a sweat, and that was on a 100-degree day in Columbus.
The Buckeyes seemed to give up as the final minutes ticked off the clock. They didn't even use their timeouts on Miami's final possession, which used up most of the final 9 minutes, 21 seconds. So why did the Hurricanes call a timeout just to score a meaningless touchdown with 33 seconds to play? That was a classless move.
Here's why I think Miami did it. Someone on that staff realized as embarrassing as the Buckeyes' offensive performance was, it was almost as embarrassing that the Hurricanes couldn't manage more than 17 points in the game's first 59 minutes.
An 18-point margin of victory looks a lot better than an 11-point margin.