Readers who recognize the contributions to scholarly research that we here at ''Burt's Eye View'' undertake have demanded more.
''When,'' they ask me, ''are you going to feed us more health benefits of chocolate?''
Regular readers of this space already know, of course, that chocolate IS a health food.
But it seems that some people - ''health professionals,'' for example - continue to speak ill of this wondrous superfruit. So for their edification and your encouragement, we bring you some of the latest findings in the wondrous world of cocoa.
First of all, people who eat candy and chocolate tend to have smaller waists, weigh less and have lower body mass indexes.
Oh, yes, it's deliciously true!
Eating candy can help a person LOSE weight, according to Louisiana State University Agricultural Center study results published this month. Chocolate simply doesn't pack on any pounds when taken in moderation, researchers say.
I skipped the boring fine print - such as what they meant by ''moderation'' - but the research says chocolate eaters sport 14 percent less risk of high blood pressure and 15 percent less risk of metabolic syndrome, which can lead to heart disease and stroke.
There was some nonsense about people who ate modest amounts of candy tended to exercise more to make up for the additional calories. It's probably nothing worth leaving your easy chair for. What we know is chocolate is not a culprit but a contributor to healthy living.
Next up, chocolate really IS a superfruit! Oh, yes, we DO have the research.
Dark chocolate has way more antioxidant capacity than fruit juice, according to a study published in February in the Chemistry Central Journal. Well, pomegranate juice almost matches dark chocolate but honestly, pomegranates or chocolate? I thought so.
''Cacao seeds should be considered a 'superfruit' and products derived from cacao seed extracts, such as natural cocoa powder and dark chocolate, as 'superfoods,''' the researchers wrote in their report.
Sure, you can stock up on your antioxidants through other fruits and veggies. But let's remember what antioxidants are:
Oxidation causes rust. ''Anti'' means against. Therefore, antioxidants prevent big, gaping holes from forming in your belly.
Your intestines, pancreas and other yucky things would slide right out of your aerated middle. Are you willing to risk stopping a gunky mess like that on the puny power of snow peas or lima beans?
Need more proof? A recent study published in Southern Medical Journal reported that researchers fed 28 people 1 ounce of dark chocolate for seven days. After just one week of chocolate, LDL (bad cholesterol) levels dropped by 6 percent; HDL (good cholesterol) increased by 9 percent; and inflammation markers decreased.
If that's what one ounce can do, think of what an entire candy bar - or six or seven - a day could do!
There was some mumbo-jumbo about how overloading, milk chocolate and things like King Size Twix cause rather different outcomes than desired, but I had already read enough to satisfy my curiosity. I need to get to some chocolate, and fast! You do, too.
It's for our health.
----- Needless to say, this column is NOT endorsed by the AMA, FDA or PTA. Pop some chocolate and write him at email@example.com