It finally happened. It was on Tuesday at about 7:30 p.m. That will go down in the annals of my familial history as the very moment I officially became old.
It all started innocently enough. Kyle was humming for several minutes while walking through the house when suddenly he asked, "Dontcha just love that song, Mom?"
"Um, what is it?" I asked sheepishly.
"Well, duh, it's 'Kings and Queens' by 30 Seconds to Mars, everybody knows that!" he laughed.
Everybody but Mom. That was it. I was officially out of touch.
Ding dang it!
I remember being on the inquisition end of that query not so long ago.
And "If You Leave" by Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark probably sounded as foreign to my parents as "'Kings and Queens' by 30 Seconds to Mars" seems to my husband and me.
But oddly-named songs and singers aside, the harsh reality is: I never even heard of 30 Seconds to Mars. Dude, that is so NOT cool.
I made a promise to myself many, many years ago that I would never be That Mom. You know, the mom who is so un-hip that she can't name the top five biggest selling music artists of the day.
So, I tested myself. Taylor Swift, Lil Wayne, Rihanna, Justin Beiber, and Lady Gaga. Those were my guesses. I didn't even bother trying to come up with song titles.
Alas, according to Billboard's latest rankings, here are the top five songs / artists right now:
1. "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem featuring Rihanna
2. "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz
3. "Mine" by Taylor Swift
4. "California Girls" by Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg
5. "I Like It" by Enrique Iglesias featuring Pit Bull
So, I got one and a half correct. One and a half.
This from the girl who could "name that tune" in a quarter of a note back in the day. The girl who knew every lyric, every title, every artist in the 1980s (and, well, prior and post, by the by). The girl who grew up to write "Bringing on the Heartburn: The True Confessions of a Hair Band Mom" for Classic Rock's Y-103 FM radio station website for about a year.
One and a half.
When I told my 10 and-3/4-year-old son about my failing grade in "with-it ness," his iPod nearly popped off his head. "Mom, that is so lame."
"Oh yeah? Well, I bet you don't even know who Rick Springfield is and I'm going to see him Friday night with Aunt Gina - AND he was Dr. Noah Drake on 'General Hospital!'" I spat back.
"Whatever, Ma. What is he, like, 100?" was Kyle's reply when I showed him an Internet photo of Springfield.
Oh, the indignation.
But the good news is: the more things change, the more they don't.
You see, Kyle learned of 30 Seconds to Mars the same way that I first heard about Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark - from movie soundtracks.
"I guess that's not a bad song," Kyle said of "If You Leave" when he heard it, while I also liked "Kings and Queens" upon listening.
And when I told Kyle we'd have to go see "Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole" - for which 30 Seconds to Mars wrote "Kings and Queens" - I got a most excellent reply.
"Awesome! Maybe you're not that bad, after all, Mom."
Not exactly a ringing endorsement of my coolness, but I'll take it.
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.