With age comes wisdom, and judging by the limps, creaks and groans that accompany the simplest of tasks these days, I suspect that my intelligence is beginning to peak.
Here then is a sampling of wisdom I've accumulated through life, books, e-mail, friendships and advancing age:
* ''Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.'' - Sir William Osler.
* ''If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.'' - unknown.
* ''If you want to be criticized, marry. If you want to be praised, die.'' - Irish proverb often quoted by my father-in-law.
* ''No husband has ever been shot doing the dishes.'' - plaque hanging over my mother-in-law's kitchen sink, where my father-in-law washed many dishes and wasn't shot even once.
* ''One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.'' - A.A. Milne, who found a bear name Pooh at Hundred Acre Woods.
* ''The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.'' - unknown.
* ''Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.'' - Abraham Lincoln.
* ''Who was the one who put the needle in the haystack anyway?'' - Lester Goslar.
* ''Most people aim at nothing in life and hit it with amazing accuracy.'' - Jim Cathcart.
* ''If you don't feel bad already, she can put you in the mood.'' - a friend commenting on some people's ability to ''comfort'' by diagnosing you as a disaster, then telling all your friends.
* ''Speak when angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.'' - Henry Ward Beecher.
* ''The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's solely in trouble.'' - unknown. In case you're wondering, if someone shouts "Burton William!,'' that will be me you see diving underneath the front porch.
* ''A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.'' - unknown. Usually, I cannot remember why I am hiding under the front porch.
* ''The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.'' - unknown.
* ''Being young is a fault that diminishes daily.'' - Swedish proverb.
* ''Middle age is when the broadness of the mind and the narrowness of the waist change places.'' - unknown.
* ''Did you ever notice that the Roman numerals for 40 are XL?'' - unknown middle-ager.
* ''Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.'' - unknown.
* You know you're getting older when: ''You miss the days when everything worked with just an 'on' and 'off' switch;'' ''Google, iPod, e-mail and modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table,'' and ''Everybody whispers.''
* ''A bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes it's not worth it.'' - J. Nowell.
* ''Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.'' - Rene Descartes.
* ''Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.'' - Mark Twain.
* ''Dear God, I have a problem - it's me.'' - unknown who said it, but it should have been me.
----- Further Cole's education at email@example.com.