Help available for youths exposed to violence

DEAR EDITOR:

October was Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Although October has come and gone, the purpose of this letter is to raise awareness of this growing problem and offer some insight to protecting loved ones.

Violence is seen when one partner tries to maintain power and control in a relationship. The violence is often hidden in the relationship. Subtle warning signs are mood changes, depression and anxiety, failing or dropping school grades, and a disinterest in the things they used to like.

More dramatic signs are extreme jealousy, a controlling behavior, explosive anger, and even threats. Abuse can lead to personal isolation, a feeling of being lost or being disconnected from their friends, parents and classmates. We've all seen notable cases of tragic outcomes on TV.

Dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Reasons for this growing and alarming trend are varied. The male dominance that is portrayed on TV and in movies is considered a strong source. Also, lack of good role models in young men's lives grows even worse with the destruction of the American family with high divorce rates and parent separation. Peer pressure and self-image may also play a role.

What can be done? First, as a victim, admit there is a problem and seek help. Go to a trusted adult for help or seek help in an agency. If someone starts out dating someone new, they should try double dating. They should always confirm plans with their parents. Avoid alcohol and drugs as these diminish defenses and place people at a higher risk. They should trust their instincts and avoid dangerous situations. Also, I personally believe this problem should be raised and taught in schools and homes if there is one.

Public agencies for help include the National Youth Crisis Line (1-800-448-4663), www.loveisrespect.org. or someplacesafe.org.

We all have daughters, granddaughters and nieces, so it's imperative we be aware of this problem and keep our eyes open. There should be pressure on society to reduce and reverse our deterioration of the family home and restore and applaud good male role models.

-- David A Brys, M.D., Warren