Pryor, Webkins on top of world
By ED PUSKAS Tribune Chronicle Sports Editor
POSTED: January 20, 2008
SO what is more impressive? Do 100,000 people in Scarlet and Gray at Ohio Stadium chanting your name make more of an impression on a kid than a few thousand in Maize and Blue at Crisler Arena? You’ll have to ask Terrelle Pryor, college football’s Next Big Thing. Ohio State wants him. Michigan desperately needs him. LSU and Oregon would love to have him. Oh, to be 18 and the most coveted high school recruit in the land. Well, I’m just guessing how it feels. At 40, the only people who recruit me relentlessly are credit card companies (‘‘You need this card. This unsolicited offer is much better than that one three days ago!’’), readers with complaints (‘‘My son’s name is spelled Zyzzerinishevich. You guys spelled it Zizzerinishevick!’’) and my daughter (‘‘Dad, I need $10. And can I have another Webkin? You promised.’’) Pryor is a high school player from western Pennsylvania. He is being compared to former University of Texas and current Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young, and he collects college scholarship offers the way most 9-year-olds collect the little plush animals and then monopolize the family PC to build virtual homes for them. I don’t want to be Terrelle Pryor. He is on top of the world right now, but as soon as he gets to Columbus, Ann Arbor or wherever he decides to spend the next four years, he’ll have to produce and live up to the hype. That’s not easy. What if he turns out to be just a good college quarterback, and not The Next Big Thing? I’d rather be the guy who invented Webkinz. He has already done the difficult part by coming up with a silly idea for a toy and convincing kids everywhere they must have enough of them to fill an entire room in their homes. After the first Webkinz were sold, they began selling themselves as parents scrambled to keep up with the Joneses. ‘‘But Tabitha has 17 Webkinz and I only have 15,’’ is a rallying cry that echoes from coast-to-coast these days. The guy who invented Webkinz? He long ago moved on and is now doing something really easy, such as lighting big, fat Cuban cigars using $100 bills. Or having a personal assistant do it for him, while he steers his yacht and sips Grey Goose. Fact check: I just realized I suggested Pryor will spend the next four years on a college campus. Ha! Like that’s going to happen. Here is a novel thought. Let’s get the kid on campus — no matter which one it turns out to be — and let him take a few classes and a few snaps before we anoint him the next anything. Unless the Buckeyes get him. In that case, he will certainly become the first four-time Heisman Trophy winner. Just kidding. Everyone knows Notre Dame’s Ron Powlus — another highly touted western Pennsylvania product — was the first guy to win four Heismans. Just ask Beano Cook. epuskas@tribune-chronicle.com
