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Carded into cashlessness by Monopoly game

February 21, 2016 I made my greatest fortune in Monopoly money. Ah, the feeling of blue, pink, yellow, green and goldenrod bills fluttering from my fingertip. more »»

Sweet thoughts at bargain prices

February 14, 2016 I am so excited that today is Valentine’s Day! It’s just like Christmas Eve, only sweeter. “Can you believe it’s almost Valentine’s Day?” I gushed to my wife a few days ago. more »»

Whacked wording leaves lexicorn

February 7, 2016 I was buzzing toward a book signing in the next county when I missed my turn. Terry had been textracted with messages on her phone. more »»

Getting organized sounds fishy

January 31, 2016 The first mistake was drifting into the pet store. Pet stores are such calming diversions — especially when one is supposed to be somewhere else. more »»

Ask doc or my wife, I’m fine

January 24, 2016 Whenever possible, I take my wife to all my doctor appointments. It saves a lot of blood pressure points for both of us. It’s not that I need someone to hold my han. more »»

Socks don’t get a darn

January 17, 2016 Does anyone darn socks anymore? I’m not talking about muttering mild oaths at smelly footies. I mean the old-fashioned process of mending socks with thread, needle and light bulb. more »»

Let’s chew the fat over this annual New Year’s resolution thing

January 10, 2016 EDITOR’S NOTE: One week into the new year, and Cole already slipped out the back door to go on vacation. more »»

Time to turn off and tune out with Gilligan

December 27, 2015 I found the posting while surfing the Internet: It was a photograph of a lavishly serene cabin shaded by a luscious forest and fronted by white sand and clear blue waters. more »»

Nobody does up joy like humans

December 20, 2015 There is no greater collection of grumps, cranks and grouches than what shows up during the joys of the Christmas season. more »»

Key answer for reader

December 13, 2015 People often pepper me with tough questions. It’s because of my ridiculously overstocked storehouse of knowledge. “Thanks, professor,” the pests guffaw with relief after I’ve solved another dilemma. more »»

Great aging, great benefits

December 6, 2015 One of the greatest benefits of aging is no longer straining to make your own excuses. For example, if I can’t keep up with a much-younger hiker, he’ll say, “Hey, good effort, ma. more »»

Making peace with cat and mouse games

November 29, 2015 I tried not to gag as I picked up her still-warm gift. Molly meant it as the highest order of peace offering. It’s just that — how shall I put this? — I, unlike Molly, am not a cat. more »»

Men not to blame for stunts

November 22, 2015 I am fat — sturdy; I meant to say sturdy — because I am married. Science says so. more »»

Locked out, lost in thought

November 15, 2015 A number of thoughts swirl through one’s mind when one discovers one has locked oneself out of one’s car. more »»

Obtusities go bump in the night

November 8, 2015 I shuffled to my wife’s side of the bed, felt around for her tissue box, knocked over her phone, found the box, bumped a bottle of water, grabbed a tissue, blew my nose, tripped over the wastebasket... more »»

Essay fair or fowl: You be the judge

November 1, 2015 A few years back, I crafted what I hoped to be a small piece of brilliance to wow the judges of the annual Robert Benchley Society Annual Award for Humor Writing. They weren’t wowe. more »»

Get gooey with pumpkin innards focus group

October 25, 2015 Editor's note: Cole is on vacation yet again. This pumpkin goop of a Cole Classic originally ran in 199. more »»

Draamaw strikes without warning

October 18, 2015 Life has become a bit more, well, ordinary since we lost my mother-in-law this summer. She was the gift of quirkiness that kept on giving. more »»

Worries box fun out of old days

October 11, 2015 The disc jockey dusted off a recording from 1975 and announced, “Here’s a flashback from the carefree good old days.” He must not have lived in the same decade I did. more »»

Cows with a beef run rogue

October 4, 2015 We are at their udder mercy. Utter. I mean, utter mercy. I speak, of course, about the rash of rogue cows running roughshod in our neighborhoods. more »»



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