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Tooting my own horn of wisdom

November 17, 2013 My fellow band geeks and I would like a word with all you ‘‘cool’’ kids who laughed at us in school. Ha! That's the word. Try not to stumble over it. more »»

Ready for life

November 10, 2013 The slogan printed on the semi stated, ‘‘Ready for Life.’’ I grimaced. I was traveling home for the calling hours of a high school classmate. The second classmate we lost in a little more than a week. more »»

Don’t lose sleep over time change

November 3, 2013 The great philosopher Mick Jagger once crooned, ‘‘Time is on my side.’’ Well, yes it is, if you snuggled in for an additional hour of sleep. more »»

Firstborns are smartest. Right?

October 27, 2013 I waved the study at my brothers. ‘‘Ha! Exactly as I’m sure you already suspected.’’ ‘‘Now what’s he warbling about?’’ Dan asked Tim. ‘‘Beats me. more »»

Old age can strengthen funny bone

October 20, 2013 Bill Cosby once wrote, “You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them. more »»

Smart deal is washing one’s hands of laundry

October 13, 2013 It seems some people are willing to do just about anything to get out of laundry. My guess is that most of them are people who wash clothes the ‘‘right’’ way. more »»

Geezers explain ‘ancient days’

October 6, 2013 The car looked cool. Sleek. Powerful. I barely could wait my turn to take a ride in buddy Tim’s 1963 Chevy Impala SS. The Kid just had to ruin it: ‘‘Wow,’’ Paul said. more »»

One bowl does not a man’s party make

September 29, 2013 Editor’s note: Burton Cole is on vacation. Here is a Classic Cole. more »»

Queries tax the lax brain

September 22, 2013 I’m on vacation this week. It is a time for relaxing, for resting, for finally taking time to consider the inconsiderable, to ponder the imponderable. more »»

Don’t forget to read the fine print

September 15, 2013 The clerk rang up my purchase, which triggered a whole list of fine print. She pointed at a screen in front of me. ‘‘Just hit the ‘accept’ button and sign the next screen.’’ ‘‘Right. more »»

Locking up always backfires

September 8, 2013 I bought a lockbox the other day. I don’t know why. The only person that locks have ever kept out of something that’s mine is me. more »»

A bite out of the Tooth Fairy’s budget

September 1, 2013 My parents owe me a bunch of quarters. Or a better Tooth Fairy. Kids today collect an average $3.70 for every tooth tucked beneath their pillows, according to Visa’s Tooth Fairy personal finance ap. more »»

Who are you calling birdbrain?

August 25, 2013 Birds obey highway speed limits better than you do. That’s the latest from the world of scientific research, where the tales and tail feathers grow weirder and weirder all the time. more »»

Hamster tubes and flying cars

August 18, 2013 It’s a familiar rant: ‘‘Where are our flying cars? They promised us flying cars.’’ My buddy Guy launches into this one a couple times a month. more »»

Left is right on Tuesday

August 11, 2013 My brother Tim was born a southpaw. A teacher tried to fix him. ‘‘There is nothing wrong with my boy,’’ Mom said, trying to set the teacher right about left. more »»

Of twits, twerps and tweets

August 4, 2013 I’m a twit. Or is that a tweet? I warble of Twitter, the social media infliction that allows a person to tell the world in 140 characters or less what he’s eating for breakfast. I don’t know why. more »»

Food choices reveal quirks and quacks

July 28, 2013 Apparently, the quote should be, ‘‘You eat what you are.’’ Whole crops of surveys purport to reveal your traits, quirks and annoying habits by the flavors of food you choose. more »»

Never right, never bored

July 21, 2013 ‘‘It must get boring being right all the time,’’ my buddy Gus said. I offered a humble smile. ‘‘Oh, I wouldn’t say I’m right ALL the time.’’ ‘‘Not you, doofus. My wife. more »»

Pondering the imponderable

July 14, 2013 As I sat in my rocker pondering the other day, I had to wonder — how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? How come that guy who swam the deepest ocean and climbed the highest mountain to... more »»

If it’s fair week, it’s raining

July 7, 2013 This is the easiest week of the year to forecast the weather. Rain, of course. The Trumbull County Fair opens this wee. more »»

 
 

 

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