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Wisdom of a narrow mind

July 11, 2010 With age comes wisdom, and judging by the limps, creaks and groans that accompany the simplest of tasks these days, I suspect that my intelligence is beginning to peak. more »»

Toppling cows and even more weighty issues

July 4, 2010 I’ve said plenty over the last 17 years. It’s time to take another dip into the mailbags to give you your say. more »»

Hey, Play-Doh brain, where are these voices coming from?

June 27, 2010 The brain is a funny thing. Have you ever looked at one? It looks like a bunch of fat Play-Doh snakes that some kid gathered up and plopped in a pile in a cereal bowl. more »»

First job is a poor, sweet memory

June 20, 2010 The Social Security Administration likes to taunt us by sending annual reports that tell us exactly how much money we earned over our careers. more »»

Guinea pigs don’t pass the smell test

June 13, 2010 Sometimes a little extra cash isn’t worth it — not when it requires you to sniff armpit sweat. more »»

No rest for the knowledgeable

June 6, 2010 Thankfully, I never learned any useful skills. It’s very hand. more »»

Step away from the giant red pelican!

May 30, 2010 Have you ever started awake, looked your spouse in the eye and yelled, ‘‘Choose the purple one or the pig won’t take the right trail!’’ In the moment you yelled it, it made perfect sens. more »»

Readers give Burt an earful

May 23, 2010 I am a bit behind in responding to letters, e-mails and website comments, so today, ‘‘Burt’s Eye View’’ dips into the mailbag to clear up a few collecting dust in the corne. more »»

Not as much shelf space, but plenty of charm

May 16, 2010 This may startle some of you, but there were no Walmart Supercenters, Best Buys or GameStops when I was a kid. more »»

Bright ideas: The wisdom of cartoons

May 9, 2010 Well, what do you know? A light bulb really DOES flash over your head when you get a bright idea. The bad news is that science has proven that bright ideas are harmful to the environmen. more »»

The voice speaks louder than words

May 2, 2010 I was deep in the middle of some Very Important Business on the computer when I heard Terry sing out ‘‘Gahhh! Uhhh! Uhhh!’’ from the other room. more »»

Unlocking doors and life’s mysteries

April 25, 2010 He aimed his key fob at the door and thumbed the ‘‘unlock’’ button. The door wouldn’t open. Annoyed, my buddy ‘‘Hank’’ pointed again and pressed harder. Nothing. more »»

Learning to be socially inactive

April 18, 2010 Thanks to social networking, I’ve been catching up with old friends. And by "old," I mean people who remember when sending a message involved paper and a postage stamp. more »»

Putting those pesky pets in their place

April 11, 2010 Jay brought home a bunch of goldfish for his boy only to discover that their favorite hobby was dying off. ‘‘The next time,’’ he said, ‘‘I’m using the toilet as a fish bow. more »»

What language is she speaking?

April 4, 2010 Spouses are couples separated by a common language. Just yesterday as we were taking our walk, Terry was prattling on about something or other when I remembered an important message. more »»

Boys play a fool’s game

March 28, 2010 I pushed back the blankets to find my pajamas littered with little, black spiders. ‘‘Ollie!’’ I yelled. more »»

What will they stink of next?

March 21, 2010 Play-Doh is the sweetest smell in the world this side of chocolate. But it never occurred to me to wear it as a cologne. more »»

Dressing for a happy wedding

March 14, 2010 For years, I managed to dress myself. Then I married a consultant. Getting dressed has become an adventure. more »»

Beer-guzzling cows make it udderly clear milk is better

March 7, 2010 EDITOR’S NOTE: Cole is taking a well-undeserved vacation. So in anticipation of St. Patrick’s Day, we rerun this Cole Classic from March 19, 2000: I drink milk. Lots of it. more »»

Health food may be hazardous

February 28, 2010 Lately, I have been suffering through a nasty anomaly known in layman’s terms as ‘‘healthy eating.’’ I think it’s going to kill me. more »»

 
 

 

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