Sign In | Create an Account | Welcome, . My Account | Logout | Subscribe | Submit News | Place An Ad | All Access E-Edition | Home RSS
 
 
 
There’s no time like ‘spare time’

July 27, 2014 An ad claims I can earn $3,000 a day, simply by working on my laptop in my ‘‘spare time.’’ A caller urged me to improve my community by volunteering just a few hours of my ‘‘spare time’’ a week. more »»

Zombie survival a pillow away

July 20, 2014 I don’t understand all the fuss about how to survive a zombie apocalypse. I’ve survived plenty of zombies. Even the Pentagon seems a tad nervous. more »»

Thrown by thoughtful presents

July 13, 2014 My sweetie mailed an inspirational coffee mug to our son, overseas on a job. He wasn’t inspired. ‘‘Mom, I’ve been here eight months. more »»

Before safety was invented

July 6, 2014 I’m lucky to be alive. My survival’s nothing short of a miracle. Perhaps if I’d had a bicycle helmet or knee pads … But that’s just it. I grew up in an epoch before safety was invented. more »»

Silly Burton, cereal isn’t for kids, or you

June 29, 2014 It’s a familiar whine: ‘‘But why can’t I have it for breakfast? It’s good for me.’’ ‘‘We’re having steel-cut rolled oats. It’s natural. more »»

Living by delicious disaster

June 22, 2014 We sat in the living room, enjoying one of those light-hearted, loving chats between spouses. ‘‘I don’t have a column topic this week,’’ I wailed, but light-heartedly. more »»

Stop and smell the Play-Doh

June 15, 2014 I peeked over one shoulder. Then the other. Slunk behind my desk. Slid open the drawer where I keep the bottle. I shot one more nervous glance around the offic. more »»

Doing laundry in the kitchen

June 8, 2014 Our refrigerator is in the dining room. No really, it is. more »»

Color me gone from painting

June 1, 2014 ‘‘Guess what we’re going to do!’’ Sentences that begin like that, when uttered by an overly exuberant spouse, never end well. I tried to disappear into the cushions of my La-Z-Bo. more »»

Preparing for picnic success

May 25, 2014 I come from large, farm families, so we are heading into my favorite season of the year — picnic. more »»

Cowboy boots, thistles, love

May 18, 2014 She wore her pointy-toed cowboy boots to school, chased me down at recess and kicked me in the shins. “Isn’t that sweet,” Mom said when I limped home from school. “Robin likes you. more »»

E.T. can’t top weirdos of planet Earth

May 11, 2014 I’ve never been beamed aboard a UFO. Never once was I kidnapped by extraterrestrials. Nope. All my weird and bizarre experiences were inflicted by good old-fashioned Earthlings. Or so they clai. more »»

Quacked up over new pets

May 4, 2014 ‘‘We need some pets,’’ I told my wife the other day. We were cleaning a winter’s supply of fallen debris from beneath the front yard trees. She straightened with an armload of sticks. ‘‘Oh, good. more »»

Rainy day help washes away serenity

April 27, 2014 I started to slide the last cereal box into the cupboard, then hesitated. I was stymied. ‘‘Should I file Honey Nut Cheerios under ‘H’ or ‘C’?’’ My wife closed her eyes and sighed. more »»

Reader picks up gauntlet from Cole

April 20, 2014 A couple weeks ago, a reader challenged me to write a column tying together a shoe sale, a snake and a straw. So I did. Then I threw down the gauntlet for other readers. more »»

Punditry powers up the gray cells

April 13, 2014 It’s not my fault. It’s just that readers keep foisting puns upon me, and I hate to groan alone. more »»

Challenge by a snake, shoe and straw

April 6, 2014 A reader named Debbie threw down the gauntlet. ‘‘Watch it with the gauntlet,’’ I yelped. ‘‘You nearly smashed my toes.’’ Debbie jammed her hand back inside the iron-plated glove. more »»

I’m just too smart to remember

March 30, 2014 I don’t forget things because I’m old. I forget because I know too much. You young pups thought we old fogeys slipped a gear or three. Nope. more »»

The generation gap snaps back

March 23, 2014 I remember, man, growing up in a generation gap. We were the young, the brilliant and the enlightened. Yeah, dig it, baby. They were the old, the boring, the thick-headed. Major bummer, dud. more »»

Cheese it with name calling

March 16, 2014 The European Union is cheesed off about names, and I get it. My name’s been tromped underboard, to. more »»

 
 
 

 

I am looking for: