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It’s all how you use the extra brain cells

July 3, 2016 Editor’s note: Burt is on vacation, though from what, we’re not sure. While he’s resting his brain, we present this neuron-filled Cole Classic, originally published March 12, 200. more »»

Gramps groans at mention of missed midlife crisis

June 26, 2016 I missed the exit ramp for Midlife Crisis Avenue. I got stuck in traffic and zipped right on down Life’s Highway, and never slowed down until my tire blew out at Senior Moments Crossroad. more »»

Cheapskate considers gift-giving

June 19, 2016 My wedding anniversary looms on the horizon and the stress is building. I have no idea what gift to give to my sweet and loving wife. more »»

Start-stop technology too tough to tackle

June 12, 2016 The apparent goal of technology is to drive me nuts. The minute I almost learn how to work a thing, technology barges in and improves it beyond my skills. And says it’s easier to operate. more »»

Idioms rattle until the cows come home

June 5, 2016 The guy rattled on for some time before gushing, “Well, to make a long story short ...” Well, that ship had sailed. “... what happened next’ll will knock your socks off,” he said. more »»

Brainpower loses punch as the years roll on by

May 31, 2016 I used to have a brain. I never took advantage of it. more »»

Snake-bit surprises bring bad news

May 22, 2016 Thoughtfulness is a dangerous business. I know. Never am I in more trouble than when I attempt to commit an act of kindness. Especially if my spouse is the intended kindee. I’m not alone. more »»

Color him blue over reclaiming man cave

May 15, 2016 “All you have to do now is choose the paint color.” “Blue.” But of course, wall paint comes in colors dubbed “Flyaway” and “Calypso” and “Capri” and “Sky Fall,” but never, ever just plain “blu. more »»

Color him blue over reclaiming man cave

May 15, 2016 “All you have to do now is choose the paint color.” “Blue.” But of course, wall paint comes in colors dubbed “Flyaway” and “Calypso” and “Capri” and “Sky Fall,” but never, ever just plain “blu. more »»

Updates upload only much electronic frustration

May 8, 2016 When I was a kid, I believed that tiny people — fairies, probably — lived inside television sets and staged the shows. Now that I’m an adult, I know the truth. more »»

World day to garden naked fraught with thorny perils

May 1, 2016 Saturday marks World Naked Gardening Day, the annual rite when we all tend to the flora while we flaunta the plots normally planted (wisely) beneath our clothes. more »»

Accidental discoveries heated his backside

April 24, 2016 Necessity, it is said, is the mother of invention. But it seems to me that some of our greatest discoveries were stumbled upon by accident. more »»

Honey, I was going to do that

April 17, 2016 It’s been an interesting week. My wife traveled out of state. “There’s nothing to worry about,” I assured her. “Remember, I took care of myself all by myself before I married you. more »»

Banking on a bargain is bunk

April 10, 2016 Several fine dining establishments I frequent offer any size Coca-Colas for a $1. more »»

Please, let me stay home and be bored for awhile

April 3, 2016 The sign was meant to be funny: “The older I get, the more I appreciate being home doing absolutely nothing. more »»

As Twain tweeted, pranks play a fool’s game

March 27, 2016 It’s probably best to stay in bed Friday. Unless you live with a joker. Then nowhere is safe. more »»

Human guinea pigs don’t pass sniff test

March 20, 2016 Sometimes a little extra cash isn’t worth it — not when it requires you to sniff armpit sweat. more »»

This doesn’t smell right

March 13, 2016 It doesn’t make scents. Researchers claim that “male goat essence” is a real turn-on. A “goaty odor” doesn’t just attract females, it entices the. more »»

Doorways, phones and fridges pull pranks

March 6, 2016 Have you ever walked into a room and but couldn’t remember why? You’re not becoming senile. The doorway did it. more »»

You’re so smart when you sleep

February 28, 2016 You know why you hardly ever land in hot water when you’re asleep? Because you’re smarter when you snooze. Science says so. more »»



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