Men and the lost art of finding things
July 17, 2011 The woman slammed the office phone, looked to the heavens and roared: ‘‘Why can’t men find things?’’ I ducked beneath my desk, scooted behind the chair and began duckwalking it down the hallway. more »»
(Mis)Directions fun, easy and strange
July 10, 2011 I hate it when a friend asks for directions. It means I’m going to have to look up road names. I rarely know the name of the road I’m driving, and for good reason. more »»
Kids go and color parade
July 3, 2011 Cousin Ollie was the most patriotic kid I knew. Ollie duct-taped red, white and blue pinwheels to his bicycle handlebars. more »»
Column best thing since ...
June 26, 2011 Is sliced bread the epitome of our genius? Every lick of progress for decades arrives with the proclamation, “It’s the greatest thing since sliced brea. more »»
Say, do you see a shortcut?
June 19, 2011 GPS navigational systems are See ’N Says for adults. An arrow points to a picture, a voice gives direction — and the guy activating the button laughs and ignores it because he knows a better way. more »»
Color my world with crayon logic
June 5, 2011 You can learn a lot from a box of crayons — so I’m told. In fact, I didn’t know how many world philosophies were built around a box of Crayola 64’s with the built-in sharpene. more »»
Hey! Stop bugging me!
May 8, 2011 Don’t bug me! These days, we’re pestered by so many irritants that it’s a real bother trying not to get exasperated. (‘‘Don’t be such a grumpy, old man!” Pardon me. more »»
Apple spies blip out bad habits
May 1, 2011 I slammed on the brakes halfway to the salvage store. Wouldn’t the opera seem more refined? Or the art museum more cultured? That’s the problem with carrying a tattletale in our pockets. more »»
Fatheads fail health, but big butts rule
April 24, 2011 I may weigh in on the, uh, “sturdy” side of bodily heft and form, but at least my mind remains a sleek machine of streamlined brilliance. Or so I thought. Apparently, my thoughts are just thi. more »»
Terms of aging hard to hear
April 17, 2011 When did I become ‘‘Hon’’? Was it when the color dribbled from my beard, leaving behind puffy clouds of patriarchal white? Was it when I had to begin taking three or four warmup steps out of the car... more »»
Pavlov’s dogs never smelled so good
March 27, 2011 I, for one, think 13-year-old candle maker Hart Main has proven his manhood. I also think he’s about to unleash upon us the plague of the modern-day Pavlov’s dogs training. More on that late. more »»
If you’re from Ohio, cheer up!
March 20, 2011 I am depressed. I didn’t realize this until Mr. Gallup’s promenading pod of pollsters said so, but apparently I am miserable. Oh, my dreary life! Sigh. Truthfully, I had been feeling rather chipper. more »»