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Color my world with crayon logic

June 5, 2011 You can learn a lot from a box of crayons — so I’m told. In fact, I didn’t know how many world philosophies were built around a box of Crayola 64’s with the built-in sharpene. more »»

Cole’s theorem: Museum adds up

May 29, 2011 If a train leaves Warren at 6 a.m. more »»

We ‘whine’ but we’re not faking — much

May 22, 2011 I bet you never saw this coming: New research shows that men ‘‘whine’’ more than women when sick. more »»

Old bones snap into rhythm of age

May 15, 2011 Cousin Dweezil remembers when we used to snicker at the sounds old people’s bodies made. It’s not so funny anymore. more »»

Hey! Stop bugging me!

May 8, 2011 Don’t bug me! These days, we’re pestered by so many irritants that it’s a real bother trying not to get exasperated. (‘‘Don’t be such a grumpy, old man!” Pardon me. more »»

Apple spies blip out bad habits

May 1, 2011 I slammed on the brakes halfway to the salvage store. Wouldn’t the opera seem more refined? Or the art museum more cultured? That’s the problem with carrying a tattletale in our pockets. more »»

Fatheads fail health, but big butts rule

April 24, 2011 I may weigh in on the, uh, “sturdy” side of bodily heft and form, but at least my mind remains a sleek machine of streamlined brilliance. Or so I thought. Apparently, my thoughts are just thi. more »»

Terms of aging hard to hear

April 17, 2011 When did I become ‘‘Hon’’? Was it when the color dribbled from my beard, leaving behind puffy clouds of patriarchal white? Was it when I had to begin taking three or four warmup steps out of the car... more »»

‘Choc’ full of healthy stuff ... honest

April 10, 2011 Readers who recognize the contributions to scholarly research that we here at ‘‘Burt’s Eye View’’ undertake have demanded more. more »»

When good texting goes really, really bad

April 3, 2011 Every word of the following cautionary tale is true. I know because she told me so herself. I cannot reveal her name because I pinky-swore that I wouldn’t. more »»

Pavlov’s dogs never smelled so good

March 27, 2011 I, for one, think 13-year-old candle maker Hart Main has proven his manhood. I also think he’s about to unleash upon us the plague of the modern-day Pavlov’s dogs training. More on that late. more »»

If you’re from Ohio, cheer up!

March 20, 2011 I am depressed. I didn’t realize this until Mr. Gallup’s promenading pod of pollsters said so, but apparently I am miserable. Oh, my dreary life! Sigh. Truthfully, I had been feeling rather chipper. more »»

Tuning in to tune out

March 13, 2011 I’ve never watched “Jersey Shore,” but I don’t feel left ou. more »»

Memories sweeter than cookies

March 6, 2011 Two brats and their sweet, long-suffering mother were struggling through the grocery store one day as Brat No. more »»

Big memories of little house

February 27, 2011 Editor’s note: Burton Cole called off sick, probably from eating too may packages of Oreos in one sitting. This classic Cole column first appeared in the Tribune Chronicle in January 2006. more »»

Pounding it out with the machines

February 20, 2011 Shades of John Henry! Not satisfied with beating chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, now an IBM computer whipped not one, but TWO champs — simultaneously — in a “Jeopardy!” tournament. more »»

Boomers dip into fountain of youth

February 13, 2011 My gang — baby boomers — has reached retirement age. Not me, not yet. I’m on the younger side of baby boomdom. more »»

Where’s the love, Stinky Face?

February 6, 2011 Remember when Valentine’s Day was simple? We didn’t have to guess, worry or wriggle. more »»

Envelope opens ocean of memories

January 30, 2011 The return address on the 9-by-12 envelope took me back more than 40 years. Wooden desktops mounted on hollow tube frames. George Washington’s portrait hanging on a plaster wall. more »»

Emptying out the old mailbag

January 23, 2011 Trying to navigate my way to my desk the other day, I tripped over the big, ol’ mailbag I meant to put away some day. more »»

 
 
 

 

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