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Kids go and color parade

July 3, 2011 Cousin Ollie was the most patriotic kid I knew. Ollie duct-taped red, white and blue pinwheels to his bicycle handlebars. more »»

Column best thing since ...

June 26, 2011 Is sliced bread the epitome of our genius? Every lick of progress for decades arrives with the proclamation, “It’s the greatest thing since sliced brea. more »»

Say, do you see a shortcut?

June 19, 2011 GPS navigational systems are See ’N Says for adults. An arrow points to a picture, a voice gives direction — and the guy activating the button laughs and ignores it because he knows a better way. more »»

Fountain of pens lies drying, dying in drawer

June 11, 2011 ----- EDITOR’S NOTE: Burton Cole is on vacation. more »»

Color my world with crayon logic

June 5, 2011 You can learn a lot from a box of crayons — so I’m told. In fact, I didn’t know how many world philosophies were built around a box of Crayola 64’s with the built-in sharpene. more »»

Cole’s theorem: Museum adds up

May 29, 2011 If a train leaves Warren at 6 a.m. more »»

We ‘whine’ but we’re not faking — much

May 22, 2011 I bet you never saw this coming: New research shows that men ‘‘whine’’ more than women when sick. more »»

Old bones snap into rhythm of age

May 15, 2011 Cousin Dweezil remembers when we used to snicker at the sounds old people’s bodies made. It’s not so funny anymore. more »»

Hey! Stop bugging me!

May 8, 2011 Don’t bug me! These days, we’re pestered by so many irritants that it’s a real bother trying not to get exasperated. (‘‘Don’t be such a grumpy, old man!” Pardon me. more »»

Apple spies blip out bad habits

May 1, 2011 I slammed on the brakes halfway to the salvage store. Wouldn’t the opera seem more refined? Or the art museum more cultured? That’s the problem with carrying a tattletale in our pockets. more »»

Fatheads fail health, but big butts rule

April 24, 2011 I may weigh in on the, uh, “sturdy” side of bodily heft and form, but at least my mind remains a sleek machine of streamlined brilliance. Or so I thought. Apparently, my thoughts are just thi. more »»

Terms of aging hard to hear

April 17, 2011 When did I become ‘‘Hon’’? Was it when the color dribbled from my beard, leaving behind puffy clouds of patriarchal white? Was it when I had to begin taking three or four warmup steps out of the car... more »»

‘Choc’ full of healthy stuff ... honest

April 10, 2011 Readers who recognize the contributions to scholarly research that we here at ‘‘Burt’s Eye View’’ undertake have demanded more. more »»

When good texting goes really, really bad

April 3, 2011 Every word of the following cautionary tale is true. I know because she told me so herself. I cannot reveal her name because I pinky-swore that I wouldn’t. more »»

Pavlov’s dogs never smelled so good

March 27, 2011 I, for one, think 13-year-old candle maker Hart Main has proven his manhood. I also think he’s about to unleash upon us the plague of the modern-day Pavlov’s dogs training. More on that late. more »»

If you’re from Ohio, cheer up!

March 20, 2011 I am depressed. I didn’t realize this until Mr. Gallup’s promenading pod of pollsters said so, but apparently I am miserable. Oh, my dreary life! Sigh. Truthfully, I had been feeling rather chipper. more »»

Tuning in to tune out

March 13, 2011 I’ve never watched “Jersey Shore,” but I don’t feel left ou. more »»

Memories sweeter than cookies

March 6, 2011 Two brats and their sweet, long-suffering mother were struggling through the grocery store one day as Brat No. more »»

Big memories of little house

February 27, 2011 Editor’s note: Burton Cole called off sick, probably from eating too may packages of Oreos in one sitting. This classic Cole column first appeared in the Tribune Chronicle in January 2006. more »»

Pounding it out with the machines

February 20, 2011 Shades of John Henry! Not satisfied with beating chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, now an IBM computer whipped not one, but TWO champs — simultaneously — in a “Jeopardy!” tournament. more »»

 
 

 

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