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Out of the loop, but still loopy

January 26, 2014 It was the classic good news-bad news situation. Our home phone line fizzled and died. But the company made a speedy repair, quickly reconnecting us to the world. The fix, of course, was the bad news. more »»

Let plates, clothes and kids clean themselves

January 19, 2014 Back when I lived the uncultured life of a bachelor, I sometimes allowed dirty dishes to pile up in the sink. OK, perhaps a tad more than ‘‘sometime. more »»

Kick habit of losing single shoes

January 12, 2014 A whole bunch of people are hobbling about in single shoes, boots and flip-flops. I don’t know where they are, but they’re out there. I keep driving by their missing shoes, boots and flip-flops. more »»

Is this a tall tale or snow job?

January 5, 2014 ‘‘Tell us another scary story,’’ one little pest begged. ‘‘Yeah, tell us again about when there were no video games,’’ the other said. more »»

Some old questions ring in new year

December 29, 2013 So what do batteries run on? Why do the instructions never state, ‘‘Open over there?” Come to think of it, how do instructions know we’re ‘‘here’’ and not “there?” If a mime is arrested, does he nee... more »»

Joy bells go bong over the season

December 22, 2013 There is no greater collection of grumps, cranks and grouches than what shows up during the joys of the Christmas season. Or maybe that’s just in the malls. more »»

Lemme learn ya all ’bout gooder writing

December 15, 2013 ‘‘How do you write stories with the kind of quality that you do?’’ the kid asked. ‘‘My teacher says I should study your works.’’ I puffed up like a peacock. more »»

Insults take away injuries of shopping

December 8, 2013 It’s December and the gift-buying season keeps me hopping. It takes a lot of effort to make sure I have insulted, ignored or otherwise jilted every person I know. more »»

It’s time to pack it in

December 1, 2013 I thumped another suitcase down the stairs. “This is it. That’s all of them.” Terry surveyed the stash of things to be packed against the clutter of case. more »»

Minding your manners while chowing down

November 24, 2013 Editor’s note: Cole just spent a relaxing vacation with his 4-year-old grandson, meaning the old guy is still gasping for breath, let alone trying to write anything. more »»

Tooting my own horn of wisdom

November 17, 2013 My fellow band geeks and I would like a word with all you ‘‘cool’’ kids who laughed at us in school. Ha! That's the word. Try not to stumble over it. more »»

Ready for life

November 10, 2013 The slogan printed on the semi stated, ‘‘Ready for Life.’’ I grimaced. I was traveling home for the calling hours of a high school classmate. The second classmate we lost in a little more than a week. more »»

Don’t lose sleep over time change

November 3, 2013 The great philosopher Mick Jagger once crooned, ‘‘Time is on my side.’’ Well, yes it is, if you snuggled in for an additional hour of sleep. more »»

Firstborns are smartest. Right?

October 27, 2013 I waved the study at my brothers. ‘‘Ha! Exactly as I’m sure you already suspected.’’ ‘‘Now what’s he warbling about?’’ Dan asked Tim. ‘‘Beats me. more »»

Old age can strengthen funny bone

October 20, 2013 Bill Cosby once wrote, “You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them. more »»

Smart deal is washing one’s hands of laundry

October 13, 2013 It seems some people are willing to do just about anything to get out of laundry. My guess is that most of them are people who wash clothes the ‘‘right’’ way. more »»

Geezers explain ‘ancient days’

October 6, 2013 The car looked cool. Sleek. Powerful. I barely could wait my turn to take a ride in buddy Tim’s 1963 Chevy Impala SS. The Kid just had to ruin it: ‘‘Wow,’’ Paul said. more »»

One bowl does not a man’s party make

September 29, 2013 Editor’s note: Burton Cole is on vacation. Here is a Classic Cole. more »»

Queries tax the lax brain

September 22, 2013 I’m on vacation this week. It is a time for relaxing, for resting, for finally taking time to consider the inconsiderable, to ponder the imponderable. more »»

Don’t forget to read the fine print

September 15, 2013 The clerk rang up my purchase, which triggered a whole list of fine print. She pointed at a screen in front of me. ‘‘Just hit the ‘accept’ button and sign the next screen.’’ ‘‘Right. more »»



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