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No, really. Who was that masked man?

July 8, 2012 Searching for words of inspiration the other day, I found this: ‘‘When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, ‘How would the Lone Ranger... more »»

Cool off with tips from the animals

July 1, 2012 Baby, it’s hot outside. I tried thinking cool but my imagination overheated. more »»

Train of thought derailed

June 24, 2012 Yeah, it’s just like that. That’s why I told the guy that from now on, I’ll just play stupid. ‘‘Not much of a stretch there,’’ he mumbled. more »»

Help! I lost Grandma at the airport

June 17, 2012 Some people merely lose their luggage at an airport. I lost Grandma. Grandma was returning from her winter home in Florida. more »»

Who wants to eat worms, anyway?

June 10, 2012 You know why the early bird gets the worm? Early risers are too groggy to realize what they’re eating. Getting up before dawn didn’t do much for the health of the worm, either. more »»

Ol’ farm boy’s country wisdom

June 3, 2012 People often ask me how I came to be so full of wisdom. Well, OK, maybe ‘‘wisdom’’ isn’t the exact word they use. I wish someone would ask sometime because I know the answer: I grew up on a farm. more »»

Spousespeak: Same words, different language

May 27, 2012 I’m waiting in the car, windows down, hoping for a cooling breeze. I hadn’t expected to be sitting here this long. Terry said she was ready to walk out the door. That was 10 minutes ago. more »»

Drink coffee, live longer

May 20, 2012 This just in from the world of science: Coffee drinkers live longer. Sugar decays the brain. Therefore, coffee with sugar creates stupid people who live on to annoy us forever. more »»

Going ape for iPads

May 13, 2012 Remember that old story about how an infinite number of monkeys pecking away at an infinite number of typewriters eventually will produce Shakespeare? On the written page, I mea. more »»

‘Permanent record’ and other scary stories

May 6, 2012 Editor’s Note: Cole suffered an unfortunate accident with Silly String. He should be untangled from the worst of it by next week. more »»

You can be your own best friend

April 29, 2012 So as I was telling myself the other day, talking to yourself isn’t weird. “You’re so right,” I answered. “Well, not too weird, anyway.” Oh, stop looking at me in that tone of voice. more »»

Be quiet to hear what women want

April 22, 2012 The single greatest mystery to ever confound man is this: What do women want? The answer is ... Actually, I haven’t a clue. The best I can do is loan you the quarter I flip. more »»

Crammed craniums leak memory

April 15, 2012 Right up until the moment she fell victim to the illness, my wife sounded intelligently businesslike on the phone: ‘‘Yes, you may tell him that he may return my call at 330-555 ... ’’ She stopped. more »»

Baseball, hope spring eternal

April 8, 2012 Ah, April, the sweetest time of year. Spring yawns and stretches. Birds — such as Orioles, Blue Jays and Cardinals — migrate nort. more »»

Lose weight by eating chocolate — I’m not fooling

April 1, 2012 Chocolate makes you thinner! Yes, I know today’s date is April 1, but I’m not fooling. This is as serious as Oreos with chocolate Stuf dunked in fudge. more »»

Geezer bands can crackle to fame

March 25, 2012 Great swoons of teenybopdom, boy bands are back. Well, bi-bi-bifocals, why should they have all the fun? I say it’s time for us geezers to get in on the act. more »»

Admit it, you’re a weirdo

March 18, 2012 The great philosopher Scott ‘‘Dilbert’’ Adams succinctly summed up the simple truth: ‘‘Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.’’ Truth sets you free. more »»

Man, do your legs look good

March 11, 2012 Look, I’m as secure in my manhood as the next guy, but I’m telling you right now, mantyhose aren’t happening. Yeah, mantyhose. Pantyhose for men. In designer fashions. more »»

Hey, caffeine fiends, it’s time to go wireless

March 4, 2012 How wired do we need to be? We twitch. We shimmy and shake. We chatter like a wagon full of squirrels rolling through a walnut factory. Guarded by Chihuahuas. Like the dogs, we’re high strung. more »»

Exercise your right to do less

February 26, 2012 We, as a nation, love exercise — as long as it’s not inconvenient, sweaty or, you know, hard work. That’s why we’ve made a booming business out of workout equipment that is, um ... more »»

 
 
 

 

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