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Experts give advice on everyone else’s jobs

August 26, 2012 Have you ever noticed how everyone else is an expert at your job? The fewer reliable facts one has to confuse one’s thinking, the greater the expertise one is compelled to share on exactly what you... more »»

Stupid is as doing stupid stuff does

August 19, 2012 If there’s one thing I do well, it’s stupid stuff. I’m a bit of an expert. For example, anyone could clear the table after a family meal. You don’t even have to be smart. more »»

Humor columnist a-knockin’

August 12, 2012 What kind of phone does the ocean have? A shell phone. Where can you find hippos? It depends on where you hid them. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie-talkie. more »»

The down and dirty on good health

August 5, 2012 Put down that antibacterial soap for a second, slide that sterilized mug aside and take a look at this report: Clean habits are mucking up good health. It’s true, my squeamish friends. more »»

I remember it clearly ...

July 29, 2012 She strode into the room, then slammed on the brakes. She studied the walls, then the ceiling. Finally, her gaze fixed on me. more »»

Just wondering, how do I ponder life?

July 22, 2012 A lot of questions have flooded my email lately, and they have me wondering. more »»

Zap! Sock! Ow! Old supers star in stories

July 15, 2012 Zowie! It’s the ‘‘Summer of Superheroes’’ and this looks like a job for my secret identity as a screenwriter. Lately, filmmakers have biff! bam! powed! the theaters with superhero origins movie. more »»

No, really. Who was that masked man?

July 8, 2012 Searching for words of inspiration the other day, I found this: ‘‘When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, ‘How would the Lone Ranger... more »»

Cool off with tips from the animals

July 1, 2012 Baby, it’s hot outside. I tried thinking cool but my imagination overheated. more »»

Train of thought derailed

June 24, 2012 Yeah, it’s just like that. That’s why I told the guy that from now on, I’ll just play stupid. ‘‘Not much of a stretch there,’’ he mumbled. more »»

Help! I lost Grandma at the airport

June 17, 2012 Some people merely lose their luggage at an airport. I lost Grandma. Grandma was returning from her winter home in Florida. more »»

Who wants to eat worms, anyway?

June 10, 2012 You know why the early bird gets the worm? Early risers are too groggy to realize what they’re eating. Getting up before dawn didn’t do much for the health of the worm, either. more »»

Ol’ farm boy’s country wisdom

June 3, 2012 People often ask me how I came to be so full of wisdom. Well, OK, maybe ‘‘wisdom’’ isn’t the exact word they use. I wish someone would ask sometime because I know the answer: I grew up on a farm. more »»

Spousespeak: Same words, different language

May 27, 2012 I’m waiting in the car, windows down, hoping for a cooling breeze. I hadn’t expected to be sitting here this long. Terry said she was ready to walk out the door. That was 10 minutes ago. more »»

Drink coffee, live longer

May 20, 2012 This just in from the world of science: Coffee drinkers live longer. Sugar decays the brain. Therefore, coffee with sugar creates stupid people who live on to annoy us forever. more »»

Going ape for iPads

May 13, 2012 Remember that old story about how an infinite number of monkeys pecking away at an infinite number of typewriters eventually will produce Shakespeare? On the written page, I mea. more »»

‘Permanent record’ and other scary stories

May 6, 2012 Editor’s Note: Cole suffered an unfortunate accident with Silly String. He should be untangled from the worst of it by next week. more »»

You can be your own best friend

April 29, 2012 So as I was telling myself the other day, talking to yourself isn’t weird. “You’re so right,” I answered. “Well, not too weird, anyway.” Oh, stop looking at me in that tone of voice. more »»

Be quiet to hear what women want

April 22, 2012 The single greatest mystery to ever confound man is this: What do women want? The answer is ... Actually, I haven’t a clue. The best I can do is loan you the quarter I flip. more »»

Crammed craniums leak memory

April 15, 2012 Right up until the moment she fell victim to the illness, my wife sounded intelligently businesslike on the phone: ‘‘Yes, you may tell him that he may return my call at 330-555 ... ’’ She stopped. more »»

 
 

 

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