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Snake-bit surprises bring bad news

May 22, 2016 Thoughtfulness is a dangerous business. I know. Never am I in more trouble than when I attempt to commit an act of kindness. Especially if my spouse is the intended kindee. I’m not alone. more »»

 
 
 
Color him blue over reclaiming man cave

May 15, 2016 “All you have to do now is choose the paint color.” “Blue.” But of course, wall paint comes in colors dubbed “Flyaway” and “Calypso” and “Capri” and “Sky Fall,” but never, ever just plain “blu. more »»

Color him blue over reclaiming man cave

May 15, 2016 “All you have to do now is choose the paint color.” “Blue.” But of course, wall paint comes in colors dubbed “Flyaway” and “Calypso” and “Capri” and “Sky Fall,” but never, ever just plain “blu. more »»

Updates upload only much electronic frustration

May 8, 2016 When I was a kid, I believed that tiny people — fairies, probably — lived inside television sets and staged the shows. Now that I’m an adult, I know the truth. more »»

World day to garden naked fraught with thorny perils

May 1, 2016 Saturday marks World Naked Gardening Day, the annual rite when we all tend to the flora while we flaunta the plots normally planted (wisely) beneath our clothes. more »»

Accidental discoveries heated his backside

April 24, 2016 Necessity, it is said, is the mother of invention. But it seems to me that some of our greatest discoveries were stumbled upon by accident. more »»

Honey, I was going to do that

April 17, 2016 It’s been an interesting week. My wife traveled out of state. “There’s nothing to worry about,” I assured her. “Remember, I took care of myself all by myself before I married you. more »»

Banking on a bargain is bunk

April 10, 2016 Several fine dining establishments I frequent offer any size Coca-Colas for a $1. more »»

Please, let me stay home and be bored for awhile

April 3, 2016 The sign was meant to be funny: “The older I get, the more I appreciate being home doing absolutely nothing. more »»

As Twain tweeted, pranks play a fool’s game

March 27, 2016 It’s probably best to stay in bed Friday. Unless you live with a joker. Then nowhere is safe. more »»

Human guinea pigs don’t pass sniff test

March 20, 2016 Sometimes a little extra cash isn’t worth it — not when it requires you to sniff armpit sweat. more »»

This doesn’t smell right

March 13, 2016 It doesn’t make scents. Researchers claim that “male goat essence” is a real turn-on. A “goaty odor” doesn’t just attract females, it entices the. more »»

Doorways, phones and fridges pull pranks

March 6, 2016 Have you ever walked into a room and but couldn’t remember why? You’re not becoming senile. The doorway did it. more »»

You’re so smart when you sleep

February 28, 2016 You know why you hardly ever land in hot water when you’re asleep? Because you’re smarter when you snooze. Science says so. more »»

Carded into cashlessness by Monopoly game

February 21, 2016 I made my greatest fortune in Monopoly money. Ah, the feeling of blue, pink, yellow, green and goldenrod bills fluttering from my fingertip. more »»

Sweet thoughts at bargain prices

February 14, 2016 I am so excited that today is Valentine’s Day! It’s just like Christmas Eve, only sweeter. “Can you believe it’s almost Valentine’s Day?” I gushed to my wife a few days ago. more »»

Whacked wording leaves lexicorn

February 7, 2016 I was buzzing toward a book signing in the next county when I missed my turn. Terry had been textracted with messages on her phone. more »»

Getting organized sounds fishy

January 31, 2016 The first mistake was drifting into the pet store. Pet stores are such calming diversions — especially when one is supposed to be somewhere else. more »»

Ask doc or my wife, I’m fine

January 24, 2016 Whenever possible, I take my wife to all my doctor appointments. It saves a lot of blood pressure points for both of us. It’s not that I need someone to hold my han. more »»

Socks don’t get a darn

January 17, 2016 Does anyone darn socks anymore? I’m not talking about muttering mild oaths at smelly footies. I mean the old-fashioned process of mending socks with thread, needle and light bulb. more »»

Let’s chew the fat over this annual New Year’s resolution thing

January 10, 2016 EDITOR’S NOTE: One week into the new year, and Cole already slipped out the back door to go on vacation. more »»

 
 
 

 

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