Sign In | Create an Account | Welcome, . My Account | Logout | Subscribe | Submit News | Place An Ad | All Access E-Edition | Home RSS
Annual physical like seeing Santa, only not as jolly

August 28, 2016 Is it possible to pass out from neglecting one’s minimum daily requirement of Oreos and Coca-Cola? I’m thinking ye. more »»

Dumbed-down definition of word ‘dumb’ isn’t smart

August 21, 2016 You know what’s dumb? The definition we’ve created for the word “dumb.” That’s not what it means. It’s just another example of word abuse that’s, well, dumb. more »»

Getting schooled by dumb jokes

August 14, 2016 As we stretch and inhale deliciously warm breezes, we lazily drift into yet another long, luxurious summer ... Hold on a second. more »»

A passion for pockets becomes pain in the pants

August 7, 2016 The guy in line in front of me unzipped a small pocket of his cargo shorts and extracted a customer loyalty card. He pulled his wallet from another pocket. more »»

Good grief, I’m good, but is that a bad thing?

July 31, 2016 We set up my author’s table at the Westmoreland Arts & Heritage Festival and spent three days selling the children’s books I wrot. more »»

Pirates plunder others’ words, even pre-emptively

July 24, 2016 Much to-do over a twice-done speech was made last week. It’s far from the first time plagiarism reared its ugly, photocopied head. more »»

Here’s looking at you, Big Type

July 17, 2016 I checked out library books from the Large Print section. On purpose. The times and the eyes, they are a-changin’. As is where I do my book browsing. more »»

How do your weeds grow?

July 10, 2016 I do not have a vegetable garden. I’m not opposed to gardens, nor do I harbor any animosity toward those who engage in such activitie. more »»

It’s all how you use the extra brain cells

July 3, 2016 Editor’s note: Burt is on vacation, though from what, we’re not sure. While he’s resting his brain, we present this neuron-filled Cole Classic, originally published March 12, 200. more »»

Gramps groans at mention of missed midlife crisis

June 26, 2016 I missed the exit ramp for Midlife Crisis Avenue. I got stuck in traffic and zipped right on down Life’s Highway, and never slowed down until my tire blew out at Senior Moments Crossroad. more »»

Cheapskate considers gift-giving

June 19, 2016 My wedding anniversary looms on the horizon and the stress is building. I have no idea what gift to give to my sweet and loving wife. more »»

Start-stop technology too tough to tackle

June 12, 2016 The apparent goal of technology is to drive me nuts. The minute I almost learn how to work a thing, technology barges in and improves it beyond my skills. And says it’s easier to operate. more »»

Idioms rattle until the cows come home

June 5, 2016 The guy rattled on for some time before gushing, “Well, to make a long story short ...” Well, that ship had sailed. “... what happened next’ll will knock your socks off,” he said. more »»

Brainpower loses punch as the years roll on by

May 31, 2016 I used to have a brain. I never took advantage of it. more »»

Snake-bit surprises bring bad news

May 22, 2016 Thoughtfulness is a dangerous business. I know. Never am I in more trouble than when I attempt to commit an act of kindness. Especially if my spouse is the intended kindee. I’m not alone. more »»

Color him blue over reclaiming man cave

May 15, 2016 “All you have to do now is choose the paint color.” “Blue.” But of course, wall paint comes in colors dubbed “Flyaway” and “Calypso” and “Capri” and “Sky Fall,” but never, ever just plain “blu. more »»

Color him blue over reclaiming man cave

May 15, 2016 “All you have to do now is choose the paint color.” “Blue.” But of course, wall paint comes in colors dubbed “Flyaway” and “Calypso” and “Capri” and “Sky Fall,” but never, ever just plain “blu. more »»

Updates upload only much electronic frustration

May 8, 2016 When I was a kid, I believed that tiny people — fairies, probably — lived inside television sets and staged the shows. Now that I’m an adult, I know the truth. more »»

World day to garden naked fraught with thorny perils

May 1, 2016 Saturday marks World Naked Gardening Day, the annual rite when we all tend to the flora while we flaunta the plots normally planted (wisely) beneath our clothes. more »»

Accidental discoveries heated his backside

April 24, 2016 Necessity, it is said, is the mother of invention. But it seems to me that some of our greatest discoveries were stumbled upon by accident. more »»

Honey, I was going to do that

April 17, 2016 It’s been an interesting week. My wife traveled out of state. “There’s nothing to worry about,” I assured her. “Remember, I took care of myself all by myself before I married you. more »»



I am looking for:

Top Jobs