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You eat what you are 5 (the final chapter) – Ice cream tells all

August 28, 2013 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)
Finally! Our last serving of experts who claim that can diagnose your personality by the flavors you choose to eat. This week – ice cream.

To celebrate National Ice Cream Month, Baskin-Robbins and Dr. Alan Hirsch, founder of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, set out to determine what some of the most popular flavors say about a person's psychology.

We dribbled a few in the July 28 “Burt's Eye View,” but readers asked for more. So here's the complete Baskin-Robbins rundown:

Vanilla – “You're more likely to be impulsive, easily suggestible and an idealist.” So a “vanilla” personality isn't so vanilla after all.

Chocolate – “Dramatic, lively, charming, flirtatious, seductive and gullible.” It was sounding pretty good right up until the clincher at the end, wasn't it?

Very Berry Strawberry – “Tolerant, devoted, and an introvert.” But I still can't help but picture the monster from Frankenberry breakfast cereal.

Mint Chocolate Chip – “Argumentative, frugal and cautious.” May arguments start over money. Like how much the cone cost.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough – “Ambitious, competitive and a visionary.” I've noticed my ambition gets put on hold until I'm done with my ice cream.

Pralines 'n Cream – “Loving, supportive and prefer to avoid the spotlight.” It's the Lovin's Spoonful.

Jamoca – “Bescrupulous, conscientious and a moral perfectionist.” Jamoca is kind of a made-up word that means coffee. “Bescrupulous” is a made-up word that I think means “I ate too much coffee.”

Chocolate Chip – “Generous, competent and a go-getter.” Mostly, I go get more chocolate chips.

Rainbow Sherbet – “Analytic, decisive and a pessimistic.” See, it does hurt to think too much.

Rocky Road – “Aggressive, engaging and a good listener.” I'm not sure how aggressive and good listener work together, but that's the engaging part of it, I suppose.

And there's the dessert for our trip through food choices. I'm sure there are other psychologists and researchers who have analyzed lots of other food flavor choices, but you'll have to shop for them on your own. Somehow, we've contracted a case of brain freeze.


Article Comments



Mar-11-14 3:32 PM

Thanks, insider, I needed a laugh today.


Mar-09-14 1:11 PM


Mar-09-14 10:01 AM

Neapolitan- "Accepting, unquestioning, apathetic". They don't wonder why a three flavored ice cream would somehow be named neapolitan?

Lemon Sherbet- "Daring, prankish, risk taker". Taken off market due to its resemblance to yellow snow.

Ben and Jerry's Half-Baked flavor- "Deluded, gullible, slavish" These capitalists made millions while preaching a half baked liberal ideology to their customers.

No Sugar Added- "Guilt ridden, self delusional, science challenged." This is usually eaten by obese people after devouring a 700 calorie slice of chocolate cake. Supposedly to ease the conscience.

Premium Vanilla- "Prodigal, trendy, elitist." This flavor was invented to ease the transition from half gallon containers to 48 oz. for the same price.


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This photo has nothing to do with the blog topic, other than ice cream plays a part in Burt's new book, which releases nationwide next week.


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