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Riding through with a few more pieces of cowboy wisdom

May 21, 2013 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)

We rustled up a herd of cowboy wisdom in “Burt's Eye View” on Sunday, bits of homespun advice such as:

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

"Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth's a-jawin'."

"Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it."

You can find them by following the link below to where that and other of my newspaper columns are penned up. But there's a far piece more of it than would fit in that corral. So here's more cowboy wisdom collected from various ranches that didn't make that column (and a couple-three more that did but I repeated jus' cuz I wanted to):

“If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.”

“Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.”

“There never was a horse that couldn't be rode; Never was a cowboy who couldn't be throwed.”

“If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain.”

“An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.”

“Don't squat with your spurs on.”

“Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.”

“When you lose, don't lose the lesson.”

“Talk slowly, think quickly. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. It just ain't helpful.”

“Teachers, moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.”

“Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.”

“Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.”

“Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.”

“We all got pieces of crazy in us, some bigger pieces than others.”

“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”

"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar... if you're in to catchin' flies."

"Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled."

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

 
 

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