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Recalling classic (old) phrases while we wait five minutes for the TV set to warm up
February 12, 2013 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)
Well, shut my mouth and call me as outdated as a horse harness on plow day. If kids dug up a passel of old phrases from our sandboxes, they'd have to Google 'em to find out what they mean.
Good. It'll give 'em something to do while I'm puzzling over text talk like AABB, BRL and DLTBBB. LOL.
Email buddy Elias Vujovich sent me a list of sayings that were common back when pads and pods were things floating in the creek. I excavated a few more fossils from other sources, and added a bunch that were yelled at me as I ran outside (“Don't slam the screen door!”). Find the ones you remember, then add more from your lazy, hazy days of unplugged youth.
Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
You're going to be mad as a wet hen if you forget.
Storm's a brewing. You might as well hunker down for a while.
Skim the cream off when open the new bottle of milk.
Comb you hair; it looks like a rat's nest.
Don't lose that button. I need to sew it back on.
You wore another hole through them? How many times have I darned those socks?
You wore another hole through them? There's no place left to sew a new patch.
I told you not to go outside with your school clothes on.
Eat your spinach so you can grow up to be big and strong like Daddy.
You have all the grace of a cub bear in boxing gloves.
If you get a paddling in school, you're going to get another one when you get home.
You sound like a broken record.
She sure has a bee in her bonnet.
Let's collect pop bottles from the ditch and take them to the store to get the deposit.
Tag, you're it. It's your turn to crank out the ancient – I mean, classic phrases. Add 'em to the comments below or email them (no text language, please) to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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