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Secrets (and why they should stay that way) to success

April 2, 2012 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)

Nothing contributes to success so much as motivational posters. Otherwise, why would there be so many of them?

Since the secret to success can be reduced to a pithy quote (what exactly is a "pithy," anyway? Something inside an overripe peach?), I figure it's high time you and I successfully designed our own poster.

Here are a few memorable quotes I've collected. Send me some of yours, and tell me which inspire you to run right out there and commit an act of blatant success. Then we'll be on our way!

"If at first you don't succeed, try to hide your astonishment." – Harry F. Banks

"If at first you don't succeed, do it like your mother told you." – author unknown

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." – author unknown

"If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving definitely isn't for you." – Steven Wright (or Arthur McAuliff)

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." – Mark Twain

"How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than 60 years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?" – Logan Smith

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." – Maryon Pearson

"For you to be successful, sacrifices must be made. It's better that they are made by others, but failing that, you'll have to make them yourself." – Rita Mae Brown

"There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know." – Roger H. Lincoln

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made." – Jean Giraudoux

"If you are feeling unsuccessful, just think about this: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." – author unknown.

Ooh, I think we have a winner!


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