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February 29, 2012 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)
“When are you going to clean your desk?” my wife wanted to know.
“When I get around to it.”
She dropped a wooden disc into my palm. Printed on the quarter-sized thing were the letters T-U-I-T.
“What's this?” I asked.
“A round tuit. Have fun with the desk.”
Today is Feb. 29. Leap Day. It's the calendar's version of a round tuit, a gift day in which to do all those things you've been putting off for, oh, the last four years or so.
It would be even better if we could rig it so that fall's "fall behind" daylight-saving time switch also fell today. Not only would we collect an extra day, but it would be one chock full with TWENTY-FIVE hours instead of the usual 24.
Yesterday was Tuesday. Today can't be Wednesday because it's our bonus day, the extra day. Shall we call it Tuednesday? Tuesday the Second?
Wait. I've got it! Roundtuitsday.
So what should we do with all our Roundtuitsday time? Help yourself to some of these ideas:
* Sort your sock drawer by colors and arrange your T-shirts in alphabetical order by first word on the printed on the front.
* Remember when you said you'd like to learn parasailing one day when you had time? Strap on the kite. It's Roundtuitsday.
* Track down all those people to whom you said, "Um, gotta go. Let me get back to you on that." Today's the day to finish the conversations.
* Shower gushing compliments upon someone who was mean to you. They'll lose the rest of their Roundtuitsday wondering, "What did he mean by that?"
* Skip your meals. Nothing makes time crawl by more slowly than a fast.
* Better yet, use Roundtuitsday to finally try those healthy recipes you've been saving for, you know, "some day."
* Ah, skip it. Roundtuitsday's an extra day to enjoy chocolate chip cookies. Don't blow it.
* Write your own obituary. Add in all the things you meant to do with your life when you – you guessed it – got around to it. (Update it every four years .)
* Obviously, Roundtuitsday should be a holiday (or at least paid at time and a half). But your boss, like mine, probably expects you to work an extra day this year. So every Leap Year, bank the extra day of you should get. In 28 years, you'll save up an extra week of vacation. Right?
* It's Leap Day. Hop everywhere like a frog. (Do this at the office and you might get today off work after all. It's worth a try.)
* Clean the garage like you said you would if got "a round tuit." (Gotcha! You're never going to a round tuit big enough for that one. Same for the desk, by the way.)
* Oh, just grab a Coke, a chocolate bar, the remote control and take a nap in the easy chair. Hop to it. It's Roundtuitsday. The calendar only gets around to it once every four years.
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It's Roundtuitsday. Paint that masterpiece.