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Who thinks they'll be a millionaire?

September 21, 2011 - Burton Cole (humor columnist)

I gazed with greedy interest on the study released this week on riches and optimism. We’re gonna be millionaires, baby!

That’s our grand delusion, anyway.

According to the Associated Press-CNBC poll, 21 percent of Americans believe they will become a millionaire in the next 10 years.

I knew I’d concocted well thought-out, long-range financial strategies on how I shall become a millionaire, but I didn’t know so many of you intended to join me. (My plans, by the way, involve Monopoly at McDonald’s. The long-range part is waiting for them to bring back the game.)

Let’s see, a 21 percent rate of fantasies and hallucinations means that about one in five people believe the next millionaire will be him or her. In that case, let’s practice our counting.

Look to your left and click off the two people nearest you. Now look to the right and do the same. If none of those four on your left and right appears to be heading for diamonds and dollars, then congratulations, you’re it!

It’s going to be a mite crowded at the bank. There already are 5.2 million millionaires mucking about America. That comes out to nearly one in every 20 households, according to The Associated Press.

You know what that means: Five out of every 100 friends and family are stiffing you!

Since I’m on my way to my first million, I suppose I ought to get around to making out a will. So far, I haven’t. I meant to do so years ago, but the kids viewed all my earthly possessions and refused delivery.

“You might as well live forever, Dad, because nobody wants to get stuck with your stuff,” my darling daughter said.

Yeah, we’ll see what she has to say in 10 years.


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The future millionaire struts his glory.


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