Don’t lose sleep over time change
The great philosopher Mick Jagger once crooned, ”Time is on my side.” Well, yes it is, if you snuggled in for an additional hour of sleep.
Today tolls the end of daylight-saving time, a phenomenon that I suspect was named by a marketing firm:
”Ted, our client is changing the clock, chopping an hour of sleep from the night, and throwing everyone’s biological rhythms out of sync. We’ve been hired to give it a name that makes it sound pleasant.”
”Ooh, tough sell, Ralph. Say, I know, let’s call it daylight-saving time.”
The truth is that despite our clocks spring ahead in the spring, not a bit of daylight was saved or added. It just moved. A more accurate name would be daylight-relocation time. Or perhaps experience-jetlag-without-the-price-of-an-airline-ticket-and-add-on-baggage-fees time.
Today, an hour of darkness was added to return us to standard time. At 2 a.m., it became 1 a.m. all over again.
So instead of standard time, a more accurate title would be nighttime-saving time.
These time changes also mess up the old adage, ”There are only 24 hours in a day.” On March 10 – daylight-relocation time – there were 23. Today – nighttime-saving time – there are 25.
(Sadly, with the bonus hour coming in the middle of the night, I was unable to use the time to mark a single thing off the honey-do list. Sorry about that, Sweetie, but what could I do?)
In a few months, we’ll spring ahead again. Maybe you should spend the additional tick tocks of today’s de-daylighted-saving time to get done all the things you’ll lose with spring’s nighttime-sapping time.
It just proves that time travel is not the stuff of science fiction. It’s printed in black and white on your calendar and springs forward and falls back. And not a bounce nor bumble of any of it changes a single minute of the total hours of daylight a day holds.
It’s all very confusing. Sorting it out might take a while. About an extra hour, I believe.
So while I sort – where’d that pillow go? – I’ve invited other great philosophers to share their thoughts and views on time:
* Victor Borge: ”I don’t mind going back to daylight-saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I’ve saved all year.”
* Anonymous: ”My favorite holiday is daylight-saving time when we get an extra hour of sleep.”
* Anonymous: ”Instead of daylight savings time, we just need to shorten the work day so I don’t have to get up while its dark.”
* C.S. Lewis: ”The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”
* Ambrose Bierce: ”Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.”
* Nikhil Saluja: ”I said I’d be there in five minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.”
* Anonymous: ”I wish daylight savings time worked the other way in the fall. We could fall forward. Sunrise about 10 a.m. Sunset, 9 p.m. Cool with me.”
* James Thurber: ”The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody’s guess.”
* Bil Keane: ”Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”
—- If you have time, drop Cole a line at email@example.com or at the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.