Patty Kimerer column

Another trip around sun and wishes are small

I recently celebrated another full, personal revolution around the sun. In PK years, I’m 51. Which means, I am officially older than: Fla-Vor-Ice, Sesame Street, Tic Tacs, PBS (for some reason, that one really smarts), Scooby Doo (zoinks!), Funyuns (remember those yummy, crunchy ...

Self-talk can help — unless you pick a fight

It happened last Wednesday. It was roughly 5:30 p.m., just about the time for a full day’s worth — make that a half week’s worth — of frustration to come spilling out. Literally. I was indignantly shutting down my computer and clearing off my desk following a particularly tough ...

St. Pat: More popular than the Kardashians

St. Patrick’s Day means a lot of different things to a wide assortment of humans ’round the globe. Yeah, that’s what I said. According to an article by The Business Insider last fall, the celebration is a worldwide one. Historians Mike Cronin and Daryl Adair report that it is celebrated ...

Of course you can always make this stuff up

You can’t make this stuff up. I’ve always wondered why people say that? People make stuff up all the time. Liars. Fiction novelists. Film authors. Politicians (oh, sorry, I already covered that in the first mention). Actors. Teachers. Parents. Teenagers caught sneaking in after curfew. ...

Just the facts, ma’am, but I’d prefer the food

Remember the show “Dragnet”? Wikipedia does: “Dragnet is an American radio, television and motion-picture series enacting the cases of a dedicated Los Angeles police detective Sgt. Joe Friday and his partners.” It debuted in 1951, ran for eight years, then came back in 1967 for a ...

Leaving the Oscars in her (gold) dust tonight

Here we are, the last Sunday in February — aka, Oscar Night. As everyone knows by now, this evening in the Dolby Theater in Hollywood, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will honor the best films (and their writers, directors, actors, et al) of 2018 as they present the 91st ...

Celebrate Presidents Day by supporting Dolly

Presidents Day — that perfect time to reflect on the amazing accomplishments achieved by the late, great U.S. Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, among others. It’s an ideal opportunity to venerate their courage, their integrity, their commitment to the development of this ...

Calling Cupid: Please send gourmet grub

Remember when you were a little kid and you had to make your Valentine’s Day box? Sure you do. Every year, school children from kindergarten (I guess I’m so old that I was pre-preschool?) through about sixth grade, I guess, would have to make a special receptacle for the dozens of tiny ...

Here’s what I hate, er, love about winter

You know when Sulley and Mike get banished from the institute in Monsters Inc.? That’s how I feel every February. Just like I’ve been ripped from any semblance of warmth, hearth and, frankly, joy and dropped into... well, The Himalayas. #IDontDoColdWell But add the fiendish phenomenon ...

Where oh where has my little bag gone?

I’d love to tell you a little bit about my favorite suitcase. It’s a red, expandable carry-on piece made by, er, Protege, I believe. It’s 21 inches tall and about 9 inches deep — um, I think. It has those handy-dandy, deep, stretchy pockets and foldaway zipper compartments that are ...

Good grief, Patty, why are you so thin-skinned?

It’s a label I’ve carried with me for some time. Most of my life, actually. Well, at least since I was old enough to talk — and understand what the humans around me were saying when they conversed, too. Chatty Patty spoke early, I’m told. Guess I’ve always had lots to say? Hee. I ...

Why can’t we be friends? Let me tell ya!

Everyone who knows me knows that PK is a lover, not a fighter. In fact, I like to think of myself as a pretty OK Homo sapien; I hope most of the other ones in my little spot on the globe concur. I try to be easy-going, tolerant, compassionate, kind of heart, and grateful and giving. Natch, ...

Change bad. Just ask Cruella Cave Wife

The humans really hate change. They just do. They fight it like a toddler with his naptime or a teenager with her curfew or Floyd Mayweather with um, pretty much anything. It’s an unfortunate truth that we just don’t handle conversions, adjustments, and / or transformations well, as a ...

Sigh-zing up the challenges of a new year

SIGH. What a great word. I mean, few others in the English language can, in one little syllable, convey so much depth of emotion and range of feelings. SIGH. It’s almost synonymous with Monday mornings or 5 p.m. meetings or dentist visits, no? It sure as shootin’ captures the ...

’Twas two days before Christmas and all through PK’s house …

’Twas two days before Christmas And all through my mind Was a list of to-dos Like a mountain to climb. There I was in the kitchen With Monnie at my feet Me cooking like a fiend, She awaiting fallen treats. With Kyle swimming at practice And Kerry leaving in his truck I ...

Premade meatballs? Not in my kitchen, you don’t

I remember the first time I opened Kerry’s freezer when we were dating. I’m not sure how long we had been going out when I felt comfortable doing so but it was likely after a few months, I’d imagine. What I saw nearly ended our courtship before it officially began. The mental imagery ...

Student teaches you and thing or two… thousand

Nineteen years and three days ago, the world got a whole lot brighter, yo. And not just mine. #ThisKidsGoingPlaces But for my husband and me, that’s when the son — er, sun — came to rest over our little casa. His name is Kyle. Yep, that bundle arrived in dramatic fashion circa 1999, ...

A comes before I — and I’m not sure why

Remember back in the good old days when AI was simply a reference to two of the five (and sometimes six) vowels in the consonant-heavy English alphabet? These days, those two little vowels are weighing down on humanity like a sumo wrestler on an all-you-can-eat buffet, you dig? Artificial ...

November asks, ‘Who you callin’ ordinary?’

Well, this is it. The last Sunday in November. In the Catholic church, we take note of this particular one as the last Sunday in “ordinary time.” As if poor November hasn’t been through enough already from all that overshadowing by its adjacent months with their flashy holidays that ...

Thanks. Giving. Enough said? Apparently not

Thanksgiving. That poor, put-upon little holiday that gets lost amid the scary creepiness of Halloween and the lights, glitz and glorious splendor of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and the other winter holidays. Sigh. Poor little old, neglected, practically skipped-over, ...