Student teaches you and thing or two… thousand

Nineteen years and three days ago, the world got a whole lot brighter, yo.

And not just mine. #ThisKidsGoingPlaces

But for my husband and me, that’s when the son — er, sun — came to rest over our little casa. His name is Kyle.

Yep, that bundle arrived in dramatic fashion circa 1999, just in time to make this century and millennium one full of hope, joy, and a whole heapin’ lotta love.

From 12/6/99 on (well, really from the moment I found out we were expecting), I fashioned myself something of a teacher. Insert laugh track here.

Little did I know how much I didn’t know … and how very much more I was about to learn.

As any parent worth their weight in wonderment and worry will attest, becoming Mommy or Daddy is absolutely the education you envisioned. It’s just that you’re going to be the one BEHIND the desk. Prepare accordingly.

Today, I offer you a smattering of what you’ll discover a la parenthood.

1) You’ll need a solid reference guide — and as many other sound sources of wisdom you can lay your hands on, friends.

There are roughly a bazillion and four questions that accompany being the grownup tasked with advising, nurturing, inspiring, instructing and protecting another human. Most of them have no easy answers, you dig?

Don’t worry, you’ll be OK. Just dust off that Good Book occasionally as you research solutions. And don’t forget to tap into the knowledge font provided by the homo sapiens who held the position when YOU were the precious package.

As long as you are willing to actively listen with an open mind and heart, your offspring and your parents will teach you tons.

2) You must become a linguist.

Sure, it’s difficult to decipher baby babble, but keep listening. You’re a quicker study than you think and that wee one has a way of conveying his or her precise needs quite adeptly most of the time. Hang in there.

It’s when they get a little older that you’re going to have to morph into a bona fide translator. Hormone-laden mood swings; peer pressure-induced stress; angst created by that evil opposite sex. Buckle up, boys and girls, ’cause this is the sort of stuff that took down that big old tower in Babylon, yo.

Remain calm and listen more than you speak — which you should NOT do in the heat of battle. BTW, steady yourself, for there will be battles. Just make sure you find a way for everyone to win as the smoke clears.

You can do it if you’re willing to concede that you do NOT have all the answers. And if you let yourself get as good as you give from that terrifying teenager who’s really more scared than sassy.

3) You’ve got this.

It’s just that sometimes, you forget. When a toddler’s swinging at you; when a 14-year-old declares his undying hate for you; when a kid fever spikes to 105 Fahrenheit; when some rotten so-and-so hurts the human you love most in the wide world, you’re gonna wanna wave the white flag of defeat.

Have faith — literally. There’s nothing you cannot handle, armed with love.

Thank you, Kyle Kimerer, for teaching me patience, humility, humor, honor and the truest, purest meaning of unconditional forever love that I never knew I didn’t know before there was you.

Oh, and for introducing me to Twenty One Pilots; I love those guys. #LoveOfMyLife #GreatestBlessing

Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who thanks God every day for her kid … and his dad. Check out more grateful gushing at www.patriciakimerer.com

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