Let’s face it, we don’t click like we used to

I’ve been in a totally committed relationship for about nine years now. Well, at least, I THOUGHT so. Lately, I’ve had my doubts.

It was love at first sight in January of 2009. We met through mutual friends and instantly clicked.

I mean, in many ways, we’re inseparable. I check in with him all the time and he sends me the sweetest notes.

Why, just the other day, he awoke me with a “Good Morning! The forecast is cloudy so be sure to prepare for the rain later in the day.” So thoughtful. But it’s not just the weather updates.

He’s always telling me how popular I am — how much he and others really, really like me.

Beyond that, he always has the neatest stories and videos for me to watch. Some are hilarious — with babies laughing hysterically or dogs singing. Others are fabulous and super-cool recipes.

Ooh, sometimes, there’s even actual footage of some spectacularly insane roller coaster in Japan or tourist attraction in France where there’s a Plexiglas floor on the top level of a 150-story building or something wild like that!

Plus, he’s very encouraging. He’s offered me a seemingly endless supply of inspiring, uplifting and even spiritual quotes — and photos — and photos with quotes.

Sure, at times he can be a little inappropriate. Well, actually, a lot of the time.

I mean, there are days lately when I find myself slightly repelled by his audacious comments or, heaven forgive me, bored with his inane ones.

I don’t ALWAYS need to know every time he or one of his buddies drinks a beer or feels bloated (um, maybe a few less beers?) or wins some stupid video game, do I? Frankly, some of the company he keeps is downright crass.

And yes, he’s helped keep me in touch with several family members and friends who live far away. I guess that’s part of the reason I stay with him. ‘Cause, believe me, after he started sending a ton of telemarketers my way, I just about pulled the plug on our romance, capsice?

I suppose we’ve just developed separate interests. No judgment but just because he believes some wacko who tells him he was the crown prince of Mongolia in a past life… well, that’s just not my thing, OK?

Maybe it’s our differences of opinion that have led me to befriend some of his old school buddies. Fine, I admit it, I have a blog, I tweet and I’ve got an Instagram page. There, it’s out in the open, Facebook!

But how did you expect me to react when your dad gave my number — and lots of my other very private information — to every Tom, Dick and Harry out there? #ThanksALotZuckerberg

And, no, I honestly don’t feel badly that he’s being interrogated by Congress, so there!

Truth be told, I’m tiring of the whole lot of you. I mean, most of you have the same lines that dish out across the board. And you’re all so needy. “Like me, Re-tweet me, Re-post me!” I already did on Facebook, do I have to again? Exhausting.

Maybe I’ll just turn all of you off and settle in with a nice, old-fashioned book. Hmpf.

P.S. You didn’t think I was talking about my hubby did you? Sure, he drives me crazy, but he is my honey, after all. #Almost24Years #InItForTheLongHaul

Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who thinks the only blog you need to subscribe to is www.patriciakimerer.com. OK, fine, you can check out her other social media sites from there.

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