Hail the royal princess, er, dudette bride

At this writing, the wedding of the decade has yet to occur. #RoyalWedding2018 The whole world seems to be obsessed with Prince Harry marrying Meghan Markle. Oops, by now, I suppose that they are officially the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. At least, that’s what most royal watchers assumed Queen Elizabeth would dub them on their wedding day. She gives princes additional labels when they wed; actually, she gets the priest to work it into the vows somehow. Those crazy royals. They’re just so picky about who they’ll call a princess or a royal highness, now aren’t they? It’s all quite convoluted, really. I mean, if he’s going to be king someday, a British prince’s wife becomes a princess upon their nuptials, I think. Unless she’s a commoner … or left-handed … or near-sighted … or is a Sagittarius … or had chicken pox as a child … or ever got a speeding ticket. Then, I’m pretty sure they just call her, like, chica. #TotallyMadeThatUp Now, if an Englishman who just also happens to be a prince is getting hitched but he’s like 845th in line to the throne, then the queen’s got to do some quick thinking and come up with an entirely new (or slightly recycled) monarchy moniker to dub the happy couple — like, um, Dude and Dudette of Worchester Sauce or something. OK, that’s not entirely accurate, either. But it IS true that Meghan and Harry, just like Wils and Kate immediately preceding them in the royal wedding department, are clearly in love. This ain’t some stuffy old pre-arranged deal, you dig? I think these kids truly like and respect each other and are Totes McGoats in love. And why not? She’s a supermodel-looking actress who seems to have a heart of gold for giving time and talent to such impactful causes as gender inequality or clean water in third world countries. She’s even served as an advocate for the United Nations. #NotTooShabby As for him, Prince Harry isn’t just some random ginger, you know. He’s a veteran who served with the Army Air Corps on not one but TWO deployments in Afghanistan. #Respect Not to mention that he’s cool with having to play second fiddle to Prince William for all eternity. Heck, he doesn’t even seem to mind that William and Kate’s kids are all in line to that really cool red velvet chair ahead of him. #HarryIsChill She’s referred to herself as the luckiest girl in the world and he said he instantly knew she was “the one.” I’m super happy for them. But you know what? Even though these kids have the whole globe spinning in their direction, I’d rather just be plain old me. It may not have been a royal affair but I will say this about my nuptials: my Prince Charming married me two times (Kerry was Presbyterian when we met, so we wed in that church and in the Catholic one, as well). Plus, my siblings never tried to talk him out of it — and my beloved mom was there beaming while my pop proudly walked me down the aisle. #Blessed Speaking of my dad, he recently celebrated his birthday, so shout out to the first man to ever hold my hand … and who steadied it on my wedding day and a whole buncha other ones, too. #LoveYouPop Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a nap. I DID get up at 4 a.m. yesterday, after all. #ObsessedWithTheRoyals Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who loves the Brits, but her common little life way more. Check out her unroyal but well-meaning blog www.patriciakimerer.com

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