Why is it still looking a lot like Christmas?
It’s been nearly 50 days. That’s getting dangerously close to two full months, people.
In that time, we’ve already inaugurated a new president, said goodbye to beloved actors Mary Tyler Moore, John Hurt and Miguel Ferrer, and watched Tom Brady win yet another Super Bowl.
The biggest IKEA store in America opened in California. Madonna told the world she’s fantasized about blowing up the White House. We put another blasted Groundhog Day behind us, thankfully.
Lots of stuff has happened since December 25, 2016 regionally, nationally, globally. I mean, a ton.
But here’s something that hasn’t changed: a handful of people not only still have their exterior Christmas lights tautly strung, but are also choosing to keep turning them on. Night after night. In mid-February. Of 2017.
As luck would have it, a few of these houses are plopped along the path of my daily commute. And I’m all-at-once saddened and confused by the choice of some to keep pretending we’re still in the holiday season.
I know this isn’t a breaking news column, typically, but I’m here to tell you, Christmas is over. Way over. Like Santa’s taken Mrs. Claus to the south of France and back since then. The reindeer are hanging out at the X-Games and the elves are on a Caribbean cruise thinking up cool gadgets for next year’s toy season, OK?
It’s over. Done. Kaput. E finita. Capisce?
Trust me, no one loves Christmas more than I do. What with the happy, bubbly spirit in the air; the fun foods and the cookies galore and the marshmallow-filled cups of cocoa and the gift-giving; the way we can discuss faith and even sing out loud about the Christ child in very public places without much ado, it really is the most wonderful time of the year.
But, it ended. Unless I’m living in an alternate universe or some bizarre-o world, it really is almost Valentine’s Day, correct? Heck, St. Patrick is already peeking his head around the corner. Even the ghost of Christmas past is over it.
Just like the election. Concluded. Ended. Finished. Time to move on now, people. Yes, I’m talking to you folks who still have Clinton and Trump signs in your yards. For the love of all that is sane, I’m begging you to take them down. #stopthemadness
It is time to remove the red-and-green wreaths, round up rubber Rudolph for attic hibernation, scoop up plastic Santa and let him get some much-needed R&R down in the basement storage space.
Look, if it was Christmas every day, it wouldn’t be magical and special. Instead, it would be common, ordinary, regular. There’d be no cause to celebrate. It would be an unremarkable thing — just another plain old Tuesday.
No one would host super fun secret gift-giving sessions or turn ham sandwich day into a feast fit for a king in the office lunchroom.
Eggnog would replace milk in the grocery cooler and fruitcake would fill every bakery case. The malls would be open 24/7, but it wouldn’t matter because those would be the only poor folks working on a national holiday. Oh, and there’d be no mail. Ever.
The point is, let’s put the wraps on Christmas — just for this year — so that when December rolls around, we’ll be excited to kick off the season again. Time to put the white light bulbs back in the lamp post, ‘K? Pretty please with sugar plums dancing on top?
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist who loves Christmas but acknowledges that it’s been over for a long, long time. Send her a Valentine via www.patriciakimerer.com