Patty Kimerer column

A tale of good fortune and some rotten people

Many, many years ago, when I was a fresh-faced college graduate working my first real job in the world, a lovely thing happened … well, after a bit of a sad one, actually. It was in 1997 when the broadcast radio and television station where I’d happily worked since 1990 sold its company. ...

Facebook — and mom — say brush, floss, repeat

Facebook. Hmm. Rarely, in my opinion, has there been such a wonderful train wreck as the phenomenon known as the Facebook page. Arguably the most famous social media site on the globe, Facebook is all at once an amazing connectivity tool and a virtually endless time-sucker. It is ...

Let there be peace on earth — especially in USA

It’s time. It typically starts on Sept. 1 or thereabout — the anniversary commemorations. The annual reruns of certain documentaries … and the introduction of several new ones, too. The new facts, the revelations the finger-pointing of the mistakes that led to the appalling end ...

The end of summer and other irksome stuff

Well, here we are once again, the calendar equivalent of the death knell to summer. Cue the Darth Vader theme music because it is Labor Day Weekend, y’all. Sure, I know it’s a great celebration of the American worker. I understand the importance of honoring those who paved the way, both ...

Walking 22 years of miles in my shoes

I have this little pair of shoes that I love. I had them on last week at work. And last month at Mass. And a year ago at a graduation party. I wear them everywhere. They are all-at-once chic and super cute. You know the sort. You have a few pairs yourself. They are your “go-to” shoes ...

Why, yes, English IS my first language

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, English is one tricky language. From homophones (words that sound the same but have different meanings and / or spellings) and idioms (terms that are not necessarily literal and often have origins in local slang) to complex word order (subjects, ...

It’s unconditionally a doggie dog world out there

Last Father’s Day, I told you about some funny, poignant and prolific words of wisdom often uttered by my father — not to mention the saucy and sidesplitting ones. #myfatherishilarious Again, shameless plug for the future here but stay tuned for more to come on a book about the stuff my ...

Hang up camera … err, texter, and just talk

The evolution of the telephone is very well documented. Everyone knows that in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made history when he used his new invention to summons his assistant, Thomas Watson, to his side from another location in the house where they’d been working on the world’s first ...

Birds seem beautiful until flights of frenzy

There is this little sparrow who visits me every workday. He (or she, I really don’t know, to be fair) swings by around 8 a.m. or so and then again about 9ish, typically. He sits on the ledge of my windowsill and sings. Sometimes he even turns his head and chirps straight into the office, ...

Advanced course in teen-speak translation

About two years ago, I wrote a column entitled “Consult this Handy Translator for Teen-Speak.” You may recall it as a tongue-in-cheek guideline to maneuvering through the minefield known as conversations with teenage boys. It was an overview of “Communicating with Teen Boys 101,” an ...

Toddlers, menopausal women share same traits

I recently had the ginormous pleasure of seeing my niece, nephew, great-niece and great-nephew — who now live in North Carolina. Hmpf. They recently moved there from Nebraska. Double hmpf. You get the gist — I don’t see them nearly enough. So when they were quite suddenly and ...

Toddlers, menopausal women share same traits

I recently had the ginormous pleasure of seeing my niece, nephew, great-niece and great-nephew — who now live in North Carolina. Hmpf. They recently moved there from Nebraska. Double hmpf. You get the gist — I don’t see them nearly enough. So when they were quite suddenly and ...

Patty lets Pop have his say on Father’s Day

I’m not sure how the average family celebrates Father’s Day. In mine, we try to visit with both my pop and my father-in-law on the actual date. Also, I try to make sure my son and his dad (and his godfather, too!) get a little quality time in together, as well. #lovemyboys But for me ...

Empty mugs, silent phones prove nothing lasts very long

So, a very, very, very bad horrible, awful, terrible, rotten thing happened to me this week. No, I’m not talking about the 2017 NBA Finals just yet — that’s another column for another day. (Editor’s note: Kimerer’s column deadline preceded game four. It did NOT precede her deep ...

Distasteful attacks go too far

I do not like Draymond Green. I know I’ve said it before. I will say it again. I do not like Draymond Green. One of the power forwards of the Golden State Warriors (pretty much all of whom I loathe, BTW), Green irks the ever-living daylights out of me with his arrogance, his condescending ...

Zeroing on war movies stirs patriotic passions

I’m not going to lie. I was immediately sucked in by the trailer. The soaring fighter pilots, the blazing warships, the stark, soldier-strewn beaches, the booming voice-over describing the stranded men in need of help. The big block words over the black screen, reading, “When 400,000 ...

Honor society pays tribute, bonds family

When I brought the pepperoni roll order form into work at my day job, folks didn’t seem to question it. They just checked the product offering and decided whether or not they were feeling pepperoni rolls that day. Because, just like in most offices across America, there’s usually at least ...

Mom’s better than yours and that crazy TV mom

I foolishly allowed myself to become immersed in the gripping yet tragically dark Netflix series “13 Reasons Why.” Some of you may have heard of it. The program is based on the 2007 Jay Asher novel of the same name. Its fame is almost legendary in terms of how quickly it became the most ...

Lack of sack time turns mom into canvas of color

Do you think it’s possible to fall asleep with your eyes open? Hmm. According to the big brains over at verywell.com, it happens on occasion. Apparently, some folks have a condition called parasomnia. This is when someone is asleep but the brain isn’t fully at rest — and therefore, ...

Superpowers transform the world of boys

I wasn’t going to reveal this until I was much more advanced in age and closer to publishing a saucy, tell-all autobiography. OK, fine, it’s more likely to be a bedtime snoozer of my drab, humdrum existence. Either way, it seems like now may be as good a time as any to unmask myself. I ...