Every day in June offers a (weird) holiday
Burt's Eye View
The world has turned so bitter that I propose we institute a moratorium on meanness on holidays. Fortunately, every day is a holiday!
So let’s stop calling each other names, break out the cake and ice cream, and celebrate. Here’s a sampling of actual events, oddities and strange doings — other than the well-known ones already on your calendar — commemorated in the month of June, which begins this week.
June 1 — Dare Day; Flip a Coin Day and National Doughnut Day. I dare you to visit your local doughnut shop, flip a coin to choose and enjoy a tasty pastry. You can’t talk bad stuff with your mouth full of Boston cream.
June 2 — National Bubba Day; National Rocky Road Day; National Trails Day. Some Bubba snarled at you to take a hike. Skip the trail, go straight to rocky road ice cream and share a bowl with Bubba.
June 4 — Hug Your Cat Day; Old Maid’s Day. Let us not read anything in particular into the fact that these are celebrated on the same day.
June 6 — National Gardening Exercise Day; National Yo-Yo Day. Go ahead, make my gardening exercise day by knocking the aphids off the tomato plants with your yo-yo.
June 8 — Best Friends Day; Name Your Poison Day. Something bothers me about these observances being scheduled on the same day.
June 9 — Donald Duck Day; National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day. That hot-tempered Disney duck debuted June 9, 1934. Rather than squabble with each other, let’s laugh at cartoons. I definitely won’t squawk if you pass a piece of strawberry rhubarb pie.
June 10 — Iced Tea Day; Herb and Spices Day; Ball Point Pen Day. I dunno. Add spices to your tea and stir it with a Bic?
June 11 — National Corn on the Cob Day; National Jerky Day; National Peanut Butter Cookie Day. It’s a picnic!
June 13 — National Weed Your Garden Day; International Axe Throwing Day. For one day, weeding will be fun.
June 14 — Monkey Around Day. If you needed a license to act silly, here it is. Chill, Bubba.
June 16 — Fresh Veggies Day; National Hollerin’ Contest Day. These events on the same day cannot be a coincidence.
June 18 — Go Fishing Day; International Panic Day. What an awesome pairing.
June 19 — National Kissing Day; World Sauntering Day. Because it’s tough to spew nastiness while sauntering and smooching.
June 21 — Go Skate Day; International Yoga Day; National Selfie Day. Don’t forget the hash tags when you post the selfies of spilling off your skates into a twisted yoga pose.
June 22 — National Chocolate Eclair Day. To recover from your skating bruises.
June 25 — Log Cabin Day; National Catfish Day. Sounds like getaway day.
June 26 — Forgiveness Day. It’s hard to have peace without it.
June 29 — Hug Holiday. If that doesn’t work, it’s also International Mud Day. Be careful. Wrestling in the goop can invoke laughter.
That’s it. No malice. No venom. Grab Bubba and celebrate.
— Chill with Cole at email@example.com, the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook or @BurtonWCole on Twitter.