Summertime and the sayings are easy

Burt's Eye View

It was the great philosopher James Dent who said, “A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken.”

You’re not going to believe this but my lawn mower is broken. No, really, it is.

Besides, as the great philosopher Oriana Green put it, “I am Summer, come to lure you away from your computer come dance on my fresh grass, dig your toes into my beaches.”

So grab a bottle of water from the cooler, pull up a beach chair, and let’s soak in more famous summer saws from sunny soothsayers:

“Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August.” — Jenny Han

“I’m sorry for the things I said when it was winter.” — Anonymous

“Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.” — Sam Keen

“I like summer. I like warmer weather and long days. I’m one of those silly people who still enjoy lying in the sun — my children are horrified!” — Danielle Steel

“Due to recent setbacks, my beach body will be postponed another year. As usual, your patience is appreciated.” — Anonymous

“If only my teeth were as white as my legs.” — Anonymous

“Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.” — Russell Baker

“It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.” — Walter Winchell

“If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?” — Steven Wright

“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work 13 times an hour, she can hurt you.” — Erma Bombeck

“Summer — the time when parents realize how underpaid teachers actually are.” — Anonymous

“A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.” — Raymond Duncan

“In winter I get up at night / And dress by yellow candle-light. / In summer quite the other way / I have to go to bed by day.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

“It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.” — Calvin (Bill Watterson)

“Summer expectations — going to the beach every day, water fights, parties, road trips and barbecues. Summer reality– trying to find the right position to hold your phone so the sun doesn’t black out the screen.” — Anonymous

“Summer is not obligatory. We can start an infernally hard jigsaw puzzle in June with the knowledge that, if there are enough rainy days, we may just finish it by Labor Day, but if not, there’s no harm, no penalty. We may have better things to do.” — Nancy Gibbs

“When all else fails, take a vacation.” — Betty Williams

“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” — Robert Orben

“I need summer to be longer so I can have more time to do nothing.” — Anonymous

“Summer is a promissory note signed in June, its long days spent and gone before you know it, and due to be repaid next January.” — Hal Borland

“One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter.” — Henry David Thoreau

— Send your own summer sayings to Cole at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com or to the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook.

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